How do you?
Most people i have seen who are terrible at fitting in groups and making friends dont know what they are doing wrong. They lack self esteem are not confident but pretend not to care and be good with others when in reality people dont really like them. They have 0 awareness of what they are doing wrong.
I struggle the same way aswell. But even though i can pinpoint others what they are doing wrong and how they can fix it i struggle big time with my own problems.
Its like you dont know whats the reality and you re justing making up your own to make yourseld feel better.
So its not about not giving a fuck what others think but actually caring about whats the reality and what you can do to fix it so people respect you and hold you in high regard and thats what i struggle with.
1 comment
Here’s the thing — it’s hard to not care what others think when your own self-perception is not solid. If YOU think you’re ‘not so great’ (meaning generic ‘you’ not you specifically) then it’s easy to look outside yourself for validation. And if people aren’t giving it, then the downward spiral continues.
On the other hand if you like yourself and have self-esteem, then generally you won’t depend on others for validation and their opinions won’t affect you so much.
Bottom line is that self-esteem needs to be built from within. Same thing with social skills!
What’s normally missing when people aren’t connecting socially? 1) Self-confidence, 2) The ability to bust through barriers and create warmth, 3) Being other-directed because you don’t need approval/validation, so you can focus on taking an interest in others and really mean it.
The Master Class is playfulness and humor, but those are more frosting on the cake. It’s the first three that are most important.