Does having sex hurt?

7 comments

1. It can, if you are a woman and are improperly aroused. However, this should not be a normal or typical experience.

2. Think for yourself for a moment. If it was completely unpleasant, why are 99% of humanity obsessed by it? That said, sex in fact can hurt. This is a signal to stop and change something. Don’t listen if anyone tells you you just need to power through and it’s going to get better if you just continue. It’s your body and you have full control over it. If anything is uncomfortable for you, you don’t need to reason why you stop.

3. Woman here. I found it very painful the 1st & 2nd times, but it was mostly fine after that. It can hurt anytime, though, if your partner is inattentive and doesn’t give you enough time & attention to get properly wet. This is crucial. Dump anyone who doesn’t respect you enough to do this bare minimum for you. It’s indicative of a trash person who doesn’t love you.

4. Different for everybody, but it often can if it’s your first time. Usually it’s due to not being aroused enough or not being wet enough, which is normal if it’s your first time and you’re super anxious, but it is somewhat of a myth that your first time always hurts if you’re a girl.

   I mean everyone says sex doesn’t hurt for guys, but it’s usually painful and uncomfortable for me for a bit if I don’t use a condom.

5. Usually lack of experience or not caring for the other partner in sex will lead to a level of discomfort.

   Rarely but it happens, there’re some medical conditions that can make sex hurt, women can have a tilted uterus which depending on the severity can make sex a painful scenario, men can suffer from phimosis which also depending on the severity can make sex a painful scenario. There are treatments and accommodations during intercourse to ease things but this is up to how the individuals wish to proceed.

   However, the great news is, for most people, especially those starting up in a sexual relationship for the first time, proper communication between those involved is the dominant factor in making intercourse pleasurable. Manage expectations, have an open mind, listen to the other partner if said partner is also doing the same then everyone will have an even greater time.

6. It all depends on how it’s handled.

   If done right, sex is very pleasant and fun for all involved. However, if done wrong, it can indeed hurt. Penetrating someone before they’re fully warmed-up/lubricated can cause pain and microtearing, though this is avoidable by increasing foreplay or using lube. If the person penetrating is rather large downstairs, then the stretch can sometimes hurt without a lot of warm-up, and if they are long enough to hit the penetrated person’s cervix, that can also cause pain in some individuals.

   Sex does not have to be painful when done right. It just takes some knowledge of what to do in order to prevent the pain, as well as patience and care in the moment.

7. Normally, no, but especially at first there are complications that can cause pain.

   In a nutshell, most problems boil down to these three things:

   1. Not aroused enough, particularly for women this can make women hurt.

   2. Not lubed enough. Relying on natural fluids is often unrealistic, and can vary from day to day if you have a cycle.

   3. Physical characteristics that need accomodations. Every body is different, so there might be tricks to find or even something as simple as a vaginal dilation kit.

   Men can have difficulty and pain too, it’s just less common.