So my girlfriend of four years went on a girls trip to vegas yesterday with her sister in laws and they went to this place called the green door. Apparently it’s like a sex club where you can go partake in orgys, have sex with your partner or other random people, or you can just go take a tour and watch. After she went she told me she wanted to go back there with me and have sex on a bed in front of a bunch of random people who can just walk up and watch. This took me by surprise. Maybe she was just drunk but she sounded pretty down to do it. I told her I guess I’d be down but I never thought she’d wanna do something that. I asked her why she’d wanna go do it in front of a bunch of random strangers and she said because she thinks it’s hot. I think I can be a little possessive sometimes so it’s not so much that I don’t wanna do the deed in front of strangers as much as I find it hard to grasp the idea of random people watching my girl naked having sex. I find comfort in the idea that she sees our sex as special and private and only something we share. I feel like, even though she wouldn’t be doing it with anyone else, I’d be sharing her in a way. I even read another list about that place where the girl said guys would walk up and start stroking themselves to the girls having sex. Like I don’t want other men seeing her naked body and pleasuring themselves to her, even though it’s be me having sex with her. I’m not sure how to handle this and it’s making feel very strange and stressed that she wants to do this. Maybe I’m just overreacting but Idk I’d like others take on this. Maybe it could be a fun exciting experience and I’m just getting too in my head and need to lighten up.
16 comments
Its a kink, and its great to talk about before anything happens and feelings get hurt. Be glad that she’s comfortable enough to bring it up but maybe be sure to have a calm chat. Its weird that she went with her sister but whatever.
You should talk about exactly what you are ok with, what you’re not sure about, and what you’re sure is not ok. Figure out something you can try to test the waters, if you want to. There’s “swingers groups” that might have more info on how to safely try that stuff out.
I’d sit on the side of caution ⚠️ … I had sex one time in front of an audience (kinda) … me and my ex did the deed in our section 1 lower level seats at a Metallica concert at Giants Stadium 🏟️, NJ … she just bounced happily along on my lap, well, people became more enthused about watching us then the concert!! It was kinda awkward but it was hot 🥵 ( I must’ve been in my late 20’s and this was probably circa 1998-2000 … it all depends on what you’re into … but no one tried to touch other of us, thank God …
How I would feel does not matter in the slightest. How do you feel?
If you think its hot, you hit the jackpot.
If you are creeped out by it, you have some things to think about if this relationship is going to last…..
Its also a little concerning she was going to orgies in vegas…..
So she went to a sex club without you, got drunk there and then asked you to partake in such activities in the future…
Honestly I’d like a minute by minute report of what she saw and did there. Then if all is kosher tourist the place with her without any plan to act and then decide if you want to go back for more.
Kinks and fantasies are good and even better when you can talk about them. But sometimes they are better off as a fantasy. As for myself, I have a hard time using a public bathroom knowing someone else is in there…trying to have sex…haha not a chances it’ll happen.
But out of curiosity, do the people perform see who is watching? Or is it like a 2 way mirror?
that’s a fair boundary to stand firm on. i wouldn’t do it if it made me this uncomfortable.
Depends on how you feel?
I would break up with my partner if they told me they went to a place like this at all, let alone partake in it.
You might feel the same, or you might wanna try it, but that’s up to you.
Stick a porno on your big tv and fuck on the couch/rug in front of that – all the noise & visuals of an orgy with none of the risks
If you’re already in a weird place amidst a break this sounds like it would be adding unnecessary drama to the mix while you figure it out. I would suggest discussing where your relationship is first and then consider whether it could stand up under pressure if one of you had a negative takeaway after an experience like this.
So maybe this was a drunken thing her and her friends. They thought would be funny to check out and she unlocked a kink she didn’t know she had regarding voyeurism and exhibitionism. Do you guys explore kinks or desires with each other? You don’t have to answer that, it’s just a question for you to reflect on. I’d be upset she didn’t mention going there before going, but that doesn’t seem to be what is bothering you. Could this be one of those things you check out as a couple? And maybe you like it, maybe you don’t, but you talk about it and decide how to move forward. I’d set up boundaries and expectations for a first visit, like, “I’m only comfortable checking this place out as a couple first. Nothing will happen, we’ll both remain sober and go back home/to our hotel and talk about how we both feel about it or how we’d like to go forward.” Communication with your partner is key. Everything you wrote here, you should be talking out loud with her.
Edit to add: I think it’s normal for someone to realize they are turned on by something they never would have thought about before. It’s normal to talk about those thoughts with your SO. It’s normal for the SO to have questions about that and it’s absolutely important to talk it out.
I would think she’s a blast to experience new things with but understand that she’s for the streets. Feed a stray but never make them your pet.
You can also look at it as a positive. Your partner trusted you enough to share a fantasy with you. If you feel uncomfortable say no, just don’t do it, but open up the conversation about fantasies and see what games you can come up with between you both. You seem to have very open and direct communication, a healthy attitude to sex, that excitement can be found elsewhere, in a way you are both comfortable with.
It’s not like she’s saying “we are going to do this or we are going to break up.”
She’s allowed to have a fantasy, as long as she is respecting your boundaries. I don’t think it says anything about her other than she finds the idea of it exciting.
It’s OK that you disagree, it’s not like she’s going to invite people over for a show on a random Tuesday.
How confident are you that she didn’t partake when she went there without you?
I think it’s interesting that you didn’t mention how you would feel about being exposed yourself with people watching *you.* You’re only focused on people watching and being turned on by your girlfriend. That seems to be bordering on the negative side of possessive. If you don’t want to do it or you’re not into it, just be honest. But if you only don’t like the idea because she’s cool with people watching her, you should think about what that says about you. It’s completely fine not to be into voyeurism or exhibitionism, but don’t put her down or make her feel bad for thinking about sex differently than you. If anything, maybe you just learned that you’re not as compatible as you think.
If i were you, I would personally have a man to man discussion with her bro & tell him you’re not comfortable, he may not have any idea? Give him a heads up. Start getting emotionally uninvested, you shouldn’t be doing this stuff with a person you love. I got talked into a Bi, open relationship the 3rd time I got back together with my ex. She was going to group sex get togethers but not involved in the main event. She went with the same female friend group several times a month. Eventually she decided to go from FFM to MMF & I ghosted from my own birthday party. I found out later she had already fucked almost everyone there at some point in time. You got 2 choices, but either one she’s not going to be wife material. Either make her a FWB & start looking for her replacement or straight up cut her loose while you’re still on speaking terms.
I would bet if her friends/family weren’t there she would have been getting banged in front of the crowd. Nothing good ever happens on girls nights, trips, cruises, ect. Especially in Vegas. Don’t ignore the 🚩🚩🚩
Best of Luck