Me (24m) and my girlfriend (23f) have been going out roughly 3 years. She was going in and out of jobs for a couple of years before she landed herself a job at a big corporate company. We both have good jobs, and will have successful careers.
Since she started she has becoming more and more work oriented and it’s starting to become easy for me to see her priorities in life are all changing and it feels like sometimes I’m in the back burner of her mind. For example, my grandad who I was close with died. She couldn’t take the day off to be with me to grieve, because of work. We have had a concert planned for months and months, she forgot about it and told me she wouldn’t be able to take time off straight after me reminding her, without checking her calendar and a lot of other little things that she would have dropped stuff for to be with me for.
I value my work and it is one of the biggest priorities for me, I took half a day off even though I knew we would be crazy busy to go to her graduation, I feel like it would be a big ask for her to do that, which would involve me feeling bad because she will go on about how busy she is and how behind she will get at work.
Part of me is worried, that this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with and have kids with, and if she is already like this when we are already young, what is she going to be like when we settle down and have kids.
2 comments
That sounds less like work oriented and more like work obsessed to me, have you been noticing abnormal tiredness or anything? If so, I suggest taking the time at night to talk to her, tell her that you’re there for her, And ask if she has been feeling unhappy lately, it’s common for people with clinical depression to escape into their works, and that isn’t anyone’s fault.
The time to be like this is now. I admit that she prioritizing you that little is crappy, and she needs to work at it. However, you’ll never be more energetic and have fewer responsabilities like now.
Her being like this now doesn’t necessarily forecast the same behaviour later in life. In fact, I can’t work now at 32 as much as I did 5 years ago. Age slows you down, trust me.
You should, however, talk to her about making a better life-work balance. It is a good thing she’s ambitious, but there are other important things in life.