I feel like I understand general “rough sex” acts, and I understand the concept around BDSM bondage scenes. Where I am still uncertain is the genre(?) of sex that is not necessarily “rough”, and not as formal and involved as most BDSM scenes I see depicted.
I know that everyone is different, and that communication with ones partner is important. I have, and continue to do this. Still, I feel like there is a gap in my understanding.
For the “bratty subs” of r/sex, and the people who love them, what sort of play do you enjoy in the context of “normal” sex (ie, not a pre-planned and structured scene)
2 comments
I get a little bratty with u/LostAd6009 sometimes. Not often, and probably not nearly as bratty as he’s seen in other partners before.
For me…It’s pleasurable to have a dominant partner put me in my place. I will push back sometimes SPECIFICALLY so I can feel them exert dominance.
I did some pretty sassy smack talk before my first date with him regarding magic the gathering. I KNEW he was a better player than me. I’m not a great player, and I knew he’d served as an mtg judge before (i.e. he’s REALLY familiar with the rules, interactions, and just the meat and bones of the game), but I put forth some smack talk about how I was going to beat his ass. That night of our first date, we played mtg with some friends of mine (the plan was dinner, possibly a fuck, and then drinking and cards with the guys), we played, and I continued my smack talk. I think we’re ALL on our best behavior on a first date (and even early into a relationship), so as amused as he was with my smack talk and as much as he wasn’t going to let me beat him….he wasn’t focusing on smacking me down and putting me in my place.
So I purposely did a stupid move to be extra sassy and extra bratty. I forget what card I played, but the gist of the card was “choose an opponent and reduce their health to half, and gain that much health for yourself.” The CORRECT target to choose for that would either be whoever was the biggest threat (too early in the game to tell) or the person who had the most health. The correct target was my friend Aaron. I choose to cast it against u/LostAd6009. It definitely got his attention. I think he was a little flabbergasted that I’d make such a stupid move, but it worked. It focused his attention on me (which is what I wanted) and he FIRMLY asserted dominance (which is also what I wanted) by wiping the board with me.
As a submissive woman I don’t want to be with a man who isn’t stronger than me. Sometimes I will push at boundaries in order to feel dominance asserted. It feels good to have the boundaries reinforced and to feel my partner’s control.
Lol God I hate the bratty sub, they remind me of children and that’s a huge turn off. I used to think that a lot and now I have a 6 year old and they just remind me of every bratty sub I’ve met, pushing buttons just to see what happens and looking for someone to set boundaries for them. But some people really like that. There’s also a lot of care that I’ve seen and mischievous joy. Not my thing but if you get the right people together they seem to have fun.
My suggestion is to take this to r/BDSM for a larger sample. If you have a specific person in mind ask them what they want because saying they’re a bratty sub is a general grouping but how that’s expressed on an individual level can be different