I’m 24 and still a virgin. It feels like the older I get the more tension I feel about this whole thing and I never been a person who wants to just sleep with someone, I really care about real connection, knowing that someone cares about me truly and not just because they want to sleep with me.
Recently I been dating a guy, I really liked him, we been dating for 6 months, at first he been respectful which made me slowly get comfortable with him, but later on, kind of immediately he became super pushy about being intimate/sexual: sending me sexual texts that were giving me ICK, asking me for nudes and etc. this made me to get distant again and I lost my trust in him and the bond I felt, because it made me think that all he deeply wants is to just sleep with me.
Then I would take less and less time to meet him, once I brought up that I hate that everytime we chat he has to make the whole chat about something sexual and that it is not interesting to me, I want to discuss THINGS, I want to hear your thoughts, to know your MIND and not hear things only like ‘when you will spread your legs for me?” like……
Deep inside I still liked him, but all his sexual “force” were making me to avoid him and think that he is not a person I thought he is, so I ended it.
After this I don’t know what to think about myself, at the moment I don’t even want to date anyone, feels like ever. Now all I do is gym and work and I feel like gosh I can’t trust anyone, like I don’t want to trust anyone, like I don’t want anyone anymore..
EDIT: This whole post is not about him, or how he behaved, but more about me, how I react to certain situations, maybe I react the wrong way and it makes me feel like I will always be alone lol.
2 comments
Basically you do you, let him do him. You have to respect each others decision no matter what they are.
You have sex on your timetable, do not rush it. There comes a point where, unless you’ve made it clear early on that you’re waiting for marriage, it becomes unreasonable to wait for someone you really like. Most of the time, a normal building of a relationship means that sex is under consideration by about 6 months, but his pushy behavior started way earlier. Good for you for breaking up with him, he was not the right one for you. You will know next time it’s right because a good guy will not be pushy.