I basically haven’t had sex in the last year due to divorcing my ex wife. Now I met a new girl but couldn’t perform. ED and feeling of finishing too early. What can I do to improve my game?

8 comments
  1. Exercise? Better diet? Not quite sure! Maybe spend some more quality time with your new lady to improve mood and desire? Don’t masterbate before hand?

    Kinda hard to provide solid advice without more information, but I have found the above has helped me.

  2. Please explain to the lady the whole situation. Women seemb to think all sorts of things when this happens (he’s gay, he doesn’t like me, I’m not sexy enough … ).

    There’s less than a 1% chance it’s a physical problem, these things are usually mental. Please be patient with yourself; just relax, try not to expect anything to happen, don’t force it. And don’t forget the lady, use your fingers or tongue to get her off.

  3. This is really common after an extended sexual dry spell. Generally speaking your penis is like a stress thermometer and new relationship ED is very common because of the performance anxiety and stress of the situation. (Hang out here for just a bit and you’ll see multiple people asking for help with this every day.)

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    The good news is that people that have checked back in typically find that once they have built some comfort in the new relationship, they’re back to normal. If you still have an issue that persists, talk to a doctor.

  4. Exercise/good diet/good sleep to increase testosterone levels to help with ED

    Use a fleshlight to stimulate sex as close as possible to help with finishing too early

    I’d explore running through other sexual foreplay options prior to sex/during/after as well and introducing toys.

  5. I experienced the same some weeks ago when I met a new girl, after being in relationship for 16 years. Im 36. I started exercising at the same time, but honestly I just think being with someone new after 16 years, and the last year being a super stressful break up was the main culprit. Now after dating for a month and taking care of myself through excercise, diet and sleep things are back to normal.

  6. Get rid of your anxiety.

    How ? Well you could try meditation, therapy, etc, but a simple solution is : going down on her. Once you gave her a few orgasms with you mouth and/or fingers, no one will care how early you finish. She’ll be satisfied and you’ll be reassured about your own ‘performance’ to use you own word. I say it’s a win-win outcome.

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