Since the 2nd week of university this guy let’s call him B (19) and his friend – C- approached our friend group of 3 girls. Later B acted kinda close to me (18) showing his interest, i liked the attention and reciprocated the behaviours. He was so caring, seems genuine and invested. And he seemed such a good guy, i thought that he wouldn’t hurt me. This is the first time I feel such things and experience this kinda situationship. I trusted B and thought why not give a chance. After our exams we got closer. We’ve been close for the first 3 weeks of November. He seemed so invested, he was doing everything to spend time with me : he came to market, bakery every place that I had a small business with. He always tried to stay close to me. He even indicated to my friends that he knew what he wanted and he was serious. We went to a concert together, he held my hand and we continued holding hands regularly afterwards, even in public he’d show his affection. We hugged, i slept on his shoulder. We were nothing but okay and cute. Everything was so nice until last Sunday. We went to library together, i asked him this time and he was so okay with it. He acted so odd and weird that day. We didn’t even talk. On Monday and Tuesday he never texted me, normally he does, he asks me about my day, says good morning /night all the time etc. I was so uneasy and thought something was wrong so I wanted to talk. On Wednesday we talked actually he talked : told me that he has been thinking for the past days when he was acting cold and he was unsure of his feelings for a while. I asked him when did those uncertainties started but he said he didn’t know. And in the end he told me he lost his feelings towards me for sure. He told me that things were getting serious so he wanted to end things before that cause if he didn’t he would feel like he was using me. I already feel like he used me. But I couldn’t say any of this to him. I acted fucking clingy and desperate. I’m ashamed of my behaviour now. He said that he valued me as a friend. But after that day at school B and his friends acted so cold. Like we never knew each other towards me and my friends. I feel like I’m dumped, this is the first time I’m experiencing something like this. I seriously don’t know what to do. Idk how to move on. Idk anything and feel empty. Maybe I’m overreacting but i really don’t know what to do I’m so inexperienced. I liked him in such an innocent way but in the end he left me alone.
The thing I don’t understand is that how can you lose feelings that fast? And if you start to notice that you’re losing, changing why continue acting so lovely and great like nothing is going on? Well me asking those questions to myself, to others or even to him won’t change anything. But I really wonder is something like this possible among men? If it’s true I think me hearing it will make me realise the reality and help me move on. Thanks.
10 comments
New girl got his attention?
Maybe youre just to immature? Doing it. Situasionship…
Also it isnt really relationship advice place
If you really like a man you definitely shouldn’t have sex untill the man is ready to commit. Once you give up sex what else do offer him for him to want to continue or maybe even take it to the next level.
To long to read. Probable just lost interest or had some flags that said wouldn’t be a match. It happens.
It’s rough but a pretty typical young dating story
The list of potential reasons are a mile long and almost none of them have anything to do with you
This is a regular occurrence in any relationship, let alone a very simple one like you guys shared. Married couples who had it all suddenly break up over this.
Move on, not everyone is going to like you, or want to stay with you. Its the nature of dating and selecting a mate, it happens to everyone.
Well, he got what he wanted and moved on. There wasn’t feelings there in the first place. He was just trying to get in your pants. Once he did, he is moving on. It might not have been his plan, he might just be so immature that he can’t look around that chemical soup in his head telling him to sleep with you to realize he doesn’t really like you.
TLDR; Im not reading all that shit. If he bounced, let him go and move on. Doesnt matter why, hes not the one and not worthy. Have some self respect, you deserve only the best.
When you are this young many times you don’t know what you want. That means you want contradictory things which lead to sudden and confusing actions. He has his reasons for ghosting you and they are likely immature and full of lack of self confidence.
Don’t find your self worth in other people. You keep talking about people hurting you which indicates to me you’re looking for attention but when it is not reciprocated you get hurt.
“This guy I had a thing with left me suddenly, idk what to do.”
Post didn’t ask a question.