Did you ever have a friend who dumped you for reasons that perplex you?

11 comments

1. First of all if you got a CONCUSSION from a ‘car mishap’ and ended up in the ER, that is NOT “minor.” That’s fairly major. So wouldn’t you have been EXTREMELY late for the pizza and movie? ERs are not QUICK. And if your head was hurting you that badly, why would you even consider showing up for pizza and the movie? How about a quick phone call to the friend to explain what was going on? Teenaged kids wouldn’t have the patience for ANY of this, they would either be on their phones or simply GONE.

   So none of this story is adding up for me.

   Throw in the knitting and I think we have a very colorful Ball Of Yarn.

2. Now that I read all your comments, it does sound like they both were triggered by something that reminded them of something in their past. Although even then it’s hard to understand being triggered by the knitting book.

   My friends with PTSD made a lot more sense than that, but there are still occasional challenges.

3. In my thirties I experienced some significant bipolar episodes (manic and mixed). I had not been diagnosed at the time, but it was beyond obvious that I wasn’t okay.

   …then I was sexually assaulted…

   I immediately made a plan to commit suicide the following day. My best friend called one of our other friends and had him call me. I laughed and told him I was okay for the time being, but that tomorrow would be a different day.

   My best friend since elementary school ghosted me that day. Two years later I actually got her to sit down and listen to my story. She told me she “just didn’t know how to handle me.”

   I apologized for scaring her and explained how I’ve got myself in therapy and am taking care of myself.

   I guess I’m still too much for her because she has ghosted me ever since.

   Talk about heartbreaking. It’s one of my biggest heartbreaks and disappointments.

   I wish I could go back and gone through with the plan sometimes. Her recent reaction is proof I should have. 🙁

4. One way to look at friendships is to cherish the good moments. Friendships like all things change,just like people.

   I’ve both been dumped and dumped friends with no explanation. In the case I was the dumper the friendship turned toxic and I just ghosted simply because there really wasn’t anything to say. We had grown apart and quite frankly I didn’t want to tell them directly that I wasn’t comfortable being around them no more.
   Sometimes there is no explanation. Sometimes there is no logic it just happens,emotions are weird, people are complex.people change,situations evolve and hence the relationship like everything else in life changes.

   Took me a while to accept that it’s okay if friends leave you. It hurts but look at it this way you have opportunities to meet more friends.

   Plus one thing I learned is when it comes to these things a good chunk of it has little to do with you.

5. Wow. Sorry to hear about this! I feel like there’s not much you could’ve done differently for either of them. If our social expectations to attend the thing supersede real life injury then I’m not sure what to make of friend #1. And for friend #2, you’re damned if you do apparently. And I think there’s a time and place for behaviors + mental illness, and I do believe those people can be wrong (or right) too.

6. Ah your first experience with narcissists. Sorry to hear that. I hope you learned your lesson there bud or miss not to assume your gender if your one of those types of people. My advice be more attentive to your potential friends behaviors mannerisms and social interactions with other people to get a better grasp on their character. And to also analyze your memories of these 2 people mentioned in your story. To look for those telltale signs. Best of luck to ya.

7. Yup! One claimed twice that I “stole her identity” because I decided to go back to school for the same thing she did.

8. [deleted]

9. Yes, a friend of mine (we’re both F) thinks I have a daemon in me 🤣

10. This may offend you but I think you can handle it. In many cases I’ve observed many women today are completely unhinged. Even the slightest inconvenience is a reason for bad reactions. If you are a man, then many women aren’t able to be friends with you because they are simply incapable of being kind. If you are a woman, buckle up because female bullies are their own problem. I say, find friends male or female who have empathy. These “friends” sound awful. I’ve had the luxury of having great friends male and female and if these people think your kindness is manipulative or abusive then you now know why they don’t deserve your presence or your kindness. You seem like a young soul trying to survive in a confusing world. You deserve friends who support you and help you through your crisis.
    Please heal through your concussion, and remember one thing, you shouldn’t have to explain your pain ESPECIALLY when you haven’t hurt anyone and are doing your best. Good luck 🍀

11. Whew, I have stories! I’ve been dumped by a few friends in the past. It always stings, especially when I cannot even begin to think of a reason as to why.

    I would consider myself a fairly nice person, great sense of humor, super easy going, I’m always there for my friends. Not a perfect person, but I put a lot of effort into my friendships. However I’ve had a few people dump me completely out of the blue and I’ve never heard from them again. I also don’t chase people, so if you leave, I’m not gonna investigate.

    At the start of 2021, I made 2 new friends. I met one and she quickly introduced to me the other, a new friend she also made not that long before. Anyway, from the start all 3 of us had a lot in common and got along well. We made a lot of plans to hangout and everything was cool. Then out of nowhere I stopped hearing from the both of them. I’m not sure what I did, but it definitely did hurt. What really hurt me the most was one of the last times we hung out the 2nd friend got really wasted on a night out and I spent the entire night taking care of her while the 1st friend acted annoyed the entire time and barely helped her. I carried the 2nd friend all the way up to her apt even though she had like 30 pounds on me. Once in her apt I stayed overnight with her to make sure she was ok. 1st friend didn’t even want to touch her. And she left shortly after because, she just “wanted to go home to smoke her weed”.

    After all of that, I just seen on IG that they’re still the best of friends, and one just recently got married and the other was her bridesmaid. LOL. Life is funny.