I have met this girl just a few weeks ago and she is one of my classmates at the university I’m studying at.
Already I can say that we are getting along really well on a casual basis. She doesn’t know that I have feelings for her, however, I have my reasons to belive that she likes me as well.
You might wonder where the problem lies.
See, when I say that I have feelings for her, I should mention that, because we are both pretty introverted, we haven’t shared a lot of personal information and therefore my feelings for her are purely based of first impressions (basic personality traits, looks, etc.).
Now before I make the next big step of asking her out, I want to make sure that she’s really the one and for that I need to know her interests.
I find shared interests to be extremely important and I can’t imagine a relation without at least similar interests.
Okay, so why don’t I just ask her?
Well, maybe I’m overthinking, but if I’m correct about her being an introvert herself, I can’t think of a way to ask her without giving obvious hints.
I just can’t imagine a situation in which it would not seem weird to ask this.
The only situation would be on a date, but I have never been on one and if our interests don’t match, I am afraid, that I’ll run out of topics within seconds turning the date into awkward silence.
I know that dates are for getting to know someone, but I just want to know if there even is a chance of success.
In short:
I want to ask her out but I don’t know if she’s the one.
I can’t find out if she’s the one without asking her out and so on…
What can I do?
When is the perfect time to ask her about interests, hobbies and such?
I am ready to leave my comfort zone as long as it helps me with this.
I’m [20/m] and she is [19-21/F] (See, I don’t even know that)
1 comment
Hi!
I suggest asking her on a date; it shows some form of confidence, and girls like that. Think about what type of date, though, before you ask her. Have a plan. My boyfriend asked me for our first date to go to lunch with him, then we both had a really good time and walked around our college town together and chatted more. If you want to do that you can offer to pay. The first date is the best way to get to know someone. If you are interested, remember some of the things you talked about and mention them on your date; it’s a way to gauge compatibility while also showing her you are interested. For example, if she mentions she is working on a college project, ask her how it’s going, and why she chose the topic, why she’s interested in the topic, etc., things like that. Just let the conversation flow naturally and don’t overthink it; I get what you mean because I am the same but really, just being yourself and just enjoying the moment and getting to know her makes all the difference. Make sure your put effort into your appearance, too, hair, clothes, etc., it doesn’t need to be super fancy, but you’ll feel confident, and she’ll notice the effort. Please don’t hesitate to ask more questions.