We’re not exactly in a rut I think but I keep finding myself in a position where I have to lightly suggest that it’s been a while since we last did “it”, I don’t want to come off as pushy or oversexed but if I stop, I’m afraid it’ll be over forever and I won’t be interested in him anymore. So I’m trying to treat this like a game so I need suggestions on how to seduce him.
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Nibble on his ear, it’s magic
Cuddling and petting are classic starters.
run up to him and yell “HALT, scoundrel! remove thy pantaloons!”
Put on your sexist lingerie, walk into the room and then get on your knees and give him a mind-blowing blow job, then lead him to the bedroom
Before doing seductive things you wouldn’t normally do, communicate what you’re thinking and feeling first. Then focus on things that feel sexy for you.
If lingerie is something that YOU find sexy, then tell him you’re going to get some lingerie and that you want to wear it for him to enjoy and for yourself to enjoy and you want to sleep with him.
THEN do the lingerie stuff.
Don’t just get decked out in lingerie and run into the room expecting him to turn into the horny cartoon wolf. That’s setting both of you up for disappointment!
Communication is sexy. 🙂
Also, don’t tell him you want more sex because you’re afraid your relationship will die. Always frame it positive. It’s never, “I’m sad b/c no sex”, it’s always “sex with you is so good and so fulfilling, I want some of that soon, get yourself in the mood because I’m coming for it right now/tonight/tomorrow night!!”
Work out in your under wear, Vaccum in lingerie and high heels, cook a meal in just an apron and a thong, be bent over ready to the second he walks in the door, give him a bj in the car, hand him a beer and give him a bj, do up your hair and make up nice and give him a bj, make it a real sloppy bj like you’re awarded a million dollars if you can make him come in less than a minute.
Start in the morning, flirty text, a little more contact than usual, whatever feels natural, and then build it up all day and then that way it feels more organic than just forcing a single moment Vs the build up and it’ll hopefully make him anticipate it as much as you are!
It sounds pretty severe if you think that it will be over forever if you don’t succeed. It makes me wonder about the background. How long has this been going on? What have you tried before? Do you know of any reasons for your husbands lack of interest?
From your description, it appears that you have a higher libido than him… is that the case? Since you know him best, have you asked him what turns him on the most? Maybe have him write it down for you explicitly, or maybe take one of those ‘compatibility surveys’ and assess. While men tend to be predominantly visual creatures, an important part is for him to feel desired by his partner, particularly in a long-term relationship. So while sexy outfits and make-up may help, you may want to also amp it up, using dirty talk/texts.
This thread has a lot of suggestions that I’m going to try myself next time, but my go-to’s:
-“Accidentally” letting him find me bent over while wearing leggings
-Telling a sexy story
-“accidentally” putting on a steamy movie
-Surprise BJs
-ASKING if I can give him a BJ (it turns him on to hear me “beg” for it, but this is a last resort for me)
-Casual hand jobs while he’s doing something relaxing
-Putting on outfits/lingerie that turn us BOTH on
-Sometimes I have to make him little jealous because he has a strong competitive streak (would not recommend if “winning” you over isn’t a proven kink of his)
I’ve been denied 3 days in a row and I’m literally about implode, lol. So this morning I checked in to see if he wanted me to pause initiating for awhile (coercion isn’t a turn on for either of us) and he reassured me that it has just been a case of bad timing and work stress. So then I started Operation GIRL-NEEDS-AN-O.
I showered him with non-sexual but intimate touches all morning to ensure he felt the love and not just like a walking dildo. Then, before dinner I gave him a handy while he watched football while mentioning that of be down for some after dinner fun (he was receptive). Later I warned him I’d found something that would make him happy while I was doing laundry and I changed into one of our favorite sexy outfits of mine: a tight, low cut, white body suit paired with black knee highs. I then walked up to him and told him exactly what I wanted to is to do to each other while wearing this outfit in graphic detail… He responded positively and is in the shower now. 🤞
Try to delve into why he is not having it with u. It could be fixable. If not, u may find this sub useful @deadbedroom
Buy cute outfits
Cuddle with him, and while you’re doing that just jump on top of him and let him hold you. Try spooning. Kiss him
Lap dance!! Always works for me.
Do things outside of the bedroom to get his engine warmed up.
Dress with more effort than usual at home, wear makeup
Walk past him and smile and run your hand across his back, shoulders or stomach
Give him a kiss then go back to what you were doing (a no pressure or expectations kiss)
Rub his shoulders while you’re watching tv
Small little sexy things to slowly wake up the sexy in him. Have fun with it, and no expectations.