Have nearly zero friends at 21 and starting to feel miserable.

Hello, I’m going to write this post as more of a rant/vent, but I would very much appreciate any comments or advice people are willing to give. This will be a long post so thanks to those who read it.

So the basic story is that I am currently 21, and from an outside perspective my life looks great. I have a good paying job with lots of savings, I’m active and healthy, new vehicle, and can pretty much buy/get most of anything I want. The problem that most people see/don’t acknowledge is that I have zero social life, and I’m starting to realize that’s what I want more than anything else.

For a look back into my past, I grew up out in a more rural area and went to school in the nearby town. I had a good amount of friends there, and while I wasn’t able to hang out in person much, I always had people to talk to in school and a few friends to game with at night etc. Halfway through junior year I moved to a bigger city (10x the population) due to changing which parent I lived with(went from mom to dad).

The first half of my year at the new school sucked, I basically never talked to anyone, ate lunch alone, and all I ever did after school was work/play games. At the start of senior year I had a determination, and I followed through with it by cultivating quite a few relationships with other students and in general had a very fun year. Sadly it didn’t last…

The people I had made friends with during senior year almost all went off to colleges. And my father never really pushed me towards higher education and just told me to “go get a factory job”, for which I did. Luckily one of my better friends from school actually ended up working there too and we got to stay connected from there.

After a few months at my first factory job I moved on to greener pastures to my current job, which paid a lot more at the time. My current job however, doesn’t have many people my age, but I still love the job. I also still stayed connected to my friend from the old job, up until a few months later when his older brother died and he cut off not only me, but to my knowledge all of his other friends too. I haven’t heard from him in over 2 years now.

Now that leads to the present. My normal days consist of: working out, working at my job, playing video games, or doing things with family (who I don’t share much with). I only have two people I would really consider “friends” anymore: one older friend who I worked with at my part time high school job, and one high school friend who dropped out of college and went back home to factory work. I talk with and have Snapchat streaks with both, but we probably only hang out once per year. Why do we not hang out more often, I don’t know. I try not to push any get-togethers but maybe I should be.

I have tried going to others such as my family for help, but it really doesn’t work. My father, who is 60 and really doesn’t have friends either, just tells me to “go to the bar and meet people” like that’s the big solution to my problem. My other family members disagree with him and say it’s not that simple, but they don’t have any ideas to offer either.

As for myself, I haven’t given up yet. I have been conversing with coworkers to try and improve my conversation skills. Also despite disagreeing with my father, I have tried going out to bars during peak hours or sports games to try and meet people. Sadly it seems almost all the people my age are already in groups and not solo like me.

While this may be cheesy, I have also been longing for a romantic relationship as of late. I have been feeling the strong need for a “life-partner” and someone to one day have a family with. A bit off topic, but I thought I should add it.

This was a long post, and I thank anyone who read it all. If you have the time please leave a comment or any advice you may have. Thank you and have a great day.