TLDR – slept with my guy best friend, who I’m completely at ease with, and now I’m hella anxious that we’re going for round 2 this week bc I’ve never converted from friends to more than friends successfully. Advice from those that have?
We (38f / 36m) haven’t been friends all that long overall, only a year, but we just clicked. Like finding another long lost pea from the same pod, completely at ease, no issues talking about the hard stuff or roasting each other enthusiastically over a beer. Just easy and simple and light, and he’s a good guy – a genuinely solid kind man who makes me laugh and I’m completely myself with him.
Met via a dating app actually and I had the instant attraction to him where I decided within literally 5 sec that I’d sleep with him if it went that far. But it turned out we were better as friends a year ago bc we each had something come up after our first date – his ex resurfaced, and I got unexpectedly swept away by another man’s charms. Both would end painfully just a few months later.
Yet we’ve grown as friends through it all, with both of our other relationships going down the tubes, sharing single parenthood struggles, having a couple health issues come up and needing someone to listen. We rarely go a day without a text. We’ve hiked together, worked out together, gone to a few family events together – and never even so much as kissed on the cheek prior to now.
Aaaaand then this weekend, that all went out the window after a couple bottles of wine… I made the move to kiss him first but he took it from there, and it was great! A lot of fun, no regrets, and I was completely relaxed (nvm the wine, I’m always at ease around him and had even just spent thanksgiving with him and his family).
We talked in the aftermath, agreed we want to get after it a 2nd time when we’re sober, and he’s supposed to come over this week after work… and now I’m nervous AF! I went from being the initiator to now I’m so nervous.
I’ve never converted a friendship into a relationship like this (potentially), it’s always been a relationship materializing from setting out to specifically date the man. And those haven’t fared well for me, so have I been doing it all wrong this whole time? Anyone got advice here to calm my anxious nerves? Thx…
2 comments
This isn’t a friendship lol. You met on a dating app. The feelings were always there. Just treat him like any other man you like. At least you know what he’s really like. Not many people get to be “friends” first.
i reckon it will naturally happen. sex isn’t always planned, it just happens when it’s meant to happen. u will both be nervous but that’s normal! just go with the flow! good luck xx