I heard it’s quite common among women but not sure if that’s true. So I was wondering why is that. Have you ever thought about having sex with attractive guys you see on the street or even your hot male friends? or you’re strictly focused on your SO?

Sorry for the silly question I’m just curious

35 comments

  1. Yes there certainly is women who only want their SO, but there is also Men the same.
    I’m sure in this area Women would be the higher percentage..

  2. I can honestly say I’ve never thought about having sex with any attractive strangers I’ve seen.

    In past relationships, I sometimes fantasized about sex with other people I knew. But in my current relationship I do not. I think it depends on how content you are with your partner and current sex life.

  3. 100% I’m one of those. Even when I’m not in a relationship I don’t fantasize about sex with other people idk maybe I’m weird

  4. I am absolutely one of those. Weirdly enough I enjoy going to sex parties and having sex with strangers there, but in day to day life I just don’t feel attracted to people apart from my fiancé.

  5. Well it’s not like i see someone and rip his clothes of in my mind.

    Sure there is sometimes someone where i go “damn i wouldn’t kick him out of bed” but not a moment where I was turned on from just seeing someone on the streets.

    If I’m already horny it’s something else because you just look for someone to enhance the current feeling and your mind isn’t working properly when horny.

    While having sex i sometimes think about other stuff but most of the time i enjoy the moment

  6. Literally thought about this yesterday. I’m also like this. Thought it was weird because with my partner I’m very sexual but outside of that it’s like no-one can turn me on. I would be out with friends and they would point out some attractive guy and I would understand why they think he is attractive but it has no effect on me.

  7. I feel like for many women maybe this is the case because of how important the mental aspect of arousal is. Given the fact that I am mostly only interacting with my male partner, being truly aroused by a stranger to the point of fantasizing isn’t likely to happen just by staring at a man with a nice face or body.

  9. I don’t know of this is weird but when I was single, I’d fantasise about every attractive person. Now I’m in love with my boyfriend, I still find other guys attractive but I shut down the sexualising thoughts about them and reserve them for my boyfriend. BUT I have no problems fantasising about attractive women so idk 🤷🏾‍♀️

  10. That’s actually how demisexuality works, only having sexual feelings for a very close person, but not all women are demisexual. And men can be like that too, I know a guy who really only ever found his gf attractive.

    My friends aren’t hot to me, they are like my siblings, but I do have seen very attractive strangers.

  11. Yes but thinking about sex with someone you see is not the same as being turned on. You can think about sex for other reasons.

  12. I’m polyamorous and I still don’t feel attraction to strangers. I have to be deeply in like with someone for the part of my brain that’s like, hmmm actually nice butt to click on. A lot of people are like that. Generally they call themselves demisexual.

  13. I’m a man but I don’t see any stranger outside in a sexual way, only my gf. When I go to watch porn however i flip a switch or something and can masturbate to it

  16. I’m married (12 years) and while I do find the occasional man attractive, in no way do I want anything to do with him sexually. I guess I can honestly say only my husband does it for me

  17. It’s true. I’m demisexual (men can be that, too). I only have interest (sexually and romantically) in my bf and don’t fantasize about other people and I don’t find porn arousing. These things apply also for when I’ve been single.

  20. As others say, demisexuality is sort of like that, tho that isn’t a strictly female thing

  22. When I’m single I can fantasize about sleeping with every type of person, no matter how close we are, even strangers. If my brain is not occupied with loving someone, I can have sexual feelings about literally anyone. But when I’m in a relationship I only ever feel lust for my man. It’s not like other men become less attractive, I’m just not interested in them at all because I’m content with my partner. I can see the hottest guy I have even seen or become really close with a guy friend but it’s still “meh” comparing to the person I love. I am not demisexual or whatever, it’s just that romantic feelings win over random attractiveness any day of the week.

    I’m a lot more monogamous than most of my girl firends, so I wouldn’t say it’s an [all females] thing.

  23. I have a semi dom/sub relationship with my SO who is 10+ years younger and competes in bikini comps

    I’m over 40 and not in terrible shape but I’m not young and buff where she is and gyms and competes with a LOT of pretty fit good looking men

    Anytime i feel insecure we talk about it and she tells me everytime that she only gets turned on by me. Yes there are some good looking guys but she really only gets turned on by me.

    Note** Maybe I’m the idiot here but she has always been extremely open and loyal and will ask me to accompany her everywhere she goes in a dom/sub fashion

    Never asks me to leave her alone and if that has to happen she will video call me all the time (not because i ask her) and never ever ignores my calls

    So i believe that yes women can feel that

  24. Yes. The ONLY time I ever fantasized about someone else while with someone, was when I was unhappy in my marriage and he was sleeping on the couch. Basically, when I had fallen out of love.

    I never think about other men when I am in love with my SO. I honestly don’t even look at other men with any type of lust. I can say a guy is good looking, but never sexy. It just doesn’t occur to me.

  25. I (f) only ever get turned on by my partner. There are a few celebrities I think are attractive (and they are not conventionally attractive) but that’s it.

  26. Definitely real. Both my gf and I are demisexual. I just didn’t find anyone sexually attractive growing up so I’ve always been single until recently. You could put Miss America, Prada models, Versace models, all of em near my girlfriend and I’d still choose her and say she is the most attractive out of everyone. Some people are seriously only sexually attracted based on feelings towards a person. I can attest for that.

  27. yep, when i was in a relationship i was so in love with the guy that i didnt even acknowledge/look at/think about/care about other guys, how much i had ZERO interest in any other guys even surpised myself

  29. I can’t say I’ve wanted to have sex with strangers. When I met my ex, I had eyes only for him and no one even clouded my sights

    After the first 2 years of our relationship, the only time someone clouded my sights was a coworker who got hired. He was unlike anyone I’ve ever met and I just knew deep inside me that he was a very special person and was pretty much the only person I found extremely attentive and thought about

    Another 2 years goes by, my ex and I break up, and now that friend is my current partner. And I can now say no one will cloud my sights because nobody compares to him and I’m so into him and always kinda have been just from a distance cause I was taken so I didn’t dwell on it (before we got together obviously)

    I definitely am a “I only have the hots for my so” type of person and even tho I did love my ex and only had the hots for him when i was with him, my current so is a much better match for me and I just know no one else can ever make me feel the way he did or make me feel that deep longing in my heart

  30. How is thinking about sex with strangers the opposite of being turned on by you SO?

    I can think of sex with someone without being turned on by it. I can be turned on by looking at someone engaging in sex without for a moment thinking about sex with them when I see porn.

    I am not turned on just by someone being attractive. It’s definitely a way to get my attention, but it never by itself turns me on.

    I am a guy btw. This is not gendered. Just an area in which we culturally like to hugely exaggerate the difference between the male and female mind for some reason.

    To turn me on I need to fantasize, or direct interaction with someone that probably leads to sex or somehow connects with a sexual fantasy that was already there as a memory. My animal brain is not that precise about distinguishing reality, fantasy, or porn.

    And obviously there are huge differences between individuals in how much they fantasize in general. In how much of that fantasy is sexual. In how (much) they censor inappropriate fantasies. And in how “close to home” they tend to stay with their fantasies. And there are lots of individual factors that influence that and may change that. Fantasy proneness. Introverted or extraverted. Your upbringing and values. Your sex life. Your partner. Etc.

    And those individual differences apply to other forms of fantasy as well. Some people apparently fantasize about suddenly being rich, for instance. I don’t. Doesn’t get past my internal censor.

  31. Nope. I’m engaged to this man and imma marry this man and imma have this man’s kids and imma die with this man.

    Everyone else is unattractive to me. I don’t like compliments from people, nor do I like any hint they give that they may like me.

    This is MY man. Everyone else doesn’t exist

  32. I definitely don’t get turned on by an attractive person but I do sometimes see an attractive person and wonder what it would be like or what they look like naked but not an actual physical desire.

    If I do fantasize and get turned on about anyone other than my partner it’s typically someone I wouldn’t know in real life, like a celebrity and that only happens if I’m about to get it on with myself.

  33. I don’t fantasize about strangers when I’m in a relationship, I’d much rather fantasize about what I actually get to do with my partner. Sure I can acknowledge that someone is hot in passing but it’s just a brief thought and I move on with my life. I honestly refer to it as having blinders on because I don’t even notice attractive people very often when I’m in a relationship, it’s very infrequent.

  34. Yes it’s possible and women (people in general) can see others sexually aside from their SO. Now psychological and emotional proclivities make a difference and we choose how we nurture our thoughts. But yeah it’s possible and it happens.

    The cross section of responses in here is highly biased and idealized toward demisexuality so I would take many of these replies in context.

  35. I think about sex with strangers, but rarely see anyone who I think is attractive. (I live in suburbia, with frumpy husbands all over…) But occasionally I see an attractive man and yes, thoughts galore.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like