I don’t want to break people’s trust and I don’t tell everyone but things come out . I struggle with rambling sometimes and I’ll say what I’m not supposed to .
Example –
My cousin told me this guy hit on her but not to tell anyone – I asked why and she just said not to .
A few weeks later my mum was hinting that guys was interested in me and I said no and she pressed and I spilled the beans . I just couldn’t hold it in ..
I would rather in future when people say can you keep a secret to say – no in a reasonable way . And how to get out of when someone tells you something and than says don’t tell anyone like thats not fair and is a lot of pressure on me when I’d rather not know
3 comments
on getting out of it, there is no trick, it’s up to the person and severity of the secret. The best way to tell some one is simple “I’m bad at keeping secrets.” Sorry I know this is probably bad advice. But just saying that straight up I think is a good way to phrase it.
Perhaps adopt the mindset that other peoples secrets aren’t your stories to tell – if it doesn’t affect you directly then there’s no need for it to be repeated from your own mouth, and think of something to say that doesn’t revolve around other people.
Otherwise, yeah definitely let people know you find it hard to keep things to yourself and to share at their own risk. If your friends and family know you well enough, they’ll be aware of this trait anyway and obviously don’t mind if they continue to share these little secrets with you.
When they ask beforehand, something in the direction of: *”for my own mental wellbeing I actually prefer not to hear secrets I need to keep quit about.”*
When they say it afterwards preface with something like: *”of course I will do my best, but for future reference, …”*
This way it’s not about you being bad or not respecting them, it’s that you’re happier not hearing secrets so now it’s up to them to respect your wishes.