I literally feel disappointed in myself right now not because I fee like I keep screwing up w/ a couple of people I met in a club.
I’ve done club activities and hungout w/ them outside of school a couple of times. However, I still am very awkward/fearful when it comes to approaching people for conversation. I always feel like I’ll be bothering them.
We all share a class together. Two of the members usually linger around afterwards & talk to each other. But since I feel awkward & afraid. Not knowing what to say. Or how to approach I usually get up & bolt out the door. They kinda called me out about it when they saw me at a club meeting. Saying they went to go have lunch after class and was gonna fill me in on a story but I left so quick. I just laughed it off.
Well, I did the exact same thing they called me out about today. Bolted out the door instead of staying to catch up. Today was last day of semester. I am beating myself up about it because I don’t want them to think I don’t want to talk to them or that I dont like them.
Any advice/tips on overcoming this mental barrier that makes me afraid to go up & talk to people?
I see them again on Saturday for a club activity. How do I redeem myself?
Two of the people have already developed a closer relationship than I have with either of them. So now, when I see them talking.. I’m afraid I’ll just be interrupting.
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Extended: When I hungout w/ them before they talked about how cool/chill I was. But for some reason I still have it in my head that I am not good/interesting enough to be around or talk to.
Try practicing in popular discord servers.
There should really be classes / roleplays being done in groups outside of school that help people like the poster and myself ‘not wanting to bother’ people. I’m 41 now and think I can count on two hands how many women I’ve approached when I’ve found them attractive.
I think groups where a) the worst scenario possible comes true actually DOES come true and b) the best possible scenario happens, and just roleplaying how you’ll feel at the end of either of those scenarios cause I personaly probably don’t know, but that’s the kicker.. We’re concerned about a future event that may never happen, but the thinking this way WILL make it happen (and thats ok, sometimes you have shit convos, sometimes they have shit convos). You can never be ‘On’ – your funniest, smartest, most conversational 100% of the time. So what I’m trying to say is ‘Fake it till you make it’.
Maybe try and take the emphasis off yourself (80% of the time people ARE just thinking about how THEY look/sound/act. So a) they’re just as worried as you are about how they’ll act when they see you as you are of seeing them). B) They obviously have a good relationship already as you keep seeing them talking, you could try going in with a “So what have you guys been talking about all semester? I feel like I haven’t seen you for ages!” type thing. That may back them off a little. maybe it won’t too. who the fuck knows. im 41.
lol
One more thing, go in with a smile on your face and some cheekiness about you, it’ll boost their day by having your beaming energy around them. And leave the conversation to them! And you.. when you want to chime in! Have fun!
Good luck!
Ask your two friends about their interests and hobbies. When you focus outwardly you have less anxiety. If the two aren’t as interested in you you can try if you see them one by one. If still not interested meet new friends. Same thing just ask about their interests and hobbies.