How do you manage having different sex drive levels in a relationship? My (f) libido is much higher than my partner’s but obviously can’t make him have sex with me every day but at the same time I’m going crazy on the days we don’t have sex. I have toys but it doesn’t really satisfy what I crave iykyk 🫠
4 comments
Have you communicated this to them? Communication is key. Maybe your partner will have an idea.
Pls have an honest conversation. Also if he not always in the mood: pls have him use the toys on you. You will have better pleasure if he does it instead of you yourself!
It’s important not to pressure him into sex, because this can lead to aversion and repulsion. Is everything good with him otherwise — no depression, normal testosterone levels, no work stress? Has it always been like this? If there’s nothing to fix, you may have to accept that this isn’t fixable.
You say you’re going crazy. Can you live like this for the rest of your life?
> How do you manage having different sex drive levels in a relationship
Here are the *best* options:
1. You and your partner talk about it and see if you can find a middle ground. That can be settling on a frequency that both of you can live with or they — as the lower libido partner — finds ways to “accommodate” you (i.e. they hold or fondle you while you get yourself off, something that’s low impact for them but allows you to feel sexually connected to them).
2. You explore ethical non-monogamy options where you’re allowed to find other sex partners. Certainly not everyone’s cup of tea but plenty of couples manage to successfully do this.
3. You acknowledge that the two of you are not sexually compatible and break up amicably.
And there’s this the all-too-common outcome when you can’t find a compromise (#1), an open relationship is out (#2), and the two of you aren’t willing to leave the relationship (#3)…
The difference in frequency creates tension which creates fights. Resentment on one or both sets in. Frequency declines even further which only ratchets up everything. Your relationship suffers because the sex issue dominates everything else, corroding your emotional connection, introducing the threat of infidelity, filling one or both of you with regret. Either you stay together but are miserable in a dead bedroom relationship or you break up under less-than-amicable circumstances.