Do you feel pressure to always look good and why?

43 comments

  1. I like to try to look good for myself. I don’t feel like I’m a super attractive person, so I put some effort in to boost in the places I can. It helps my own state of mind. I do it for me.

  3. I don’t feel pressure but I like to always look good. I like to always try to be my best version, and I feel more confident as well.

  4. As an ugly woman who was severely bullied from childhood to young adulthood, I’ve had my fair share of experiences of how society and men in particular treat women that aren’t considered attractive and feminine enough to really be viewed by them as women, or even human. So yes, I feel a constant pressure to always look “good”, because it leads to people viewing me as an actual human being who holds at least some worth in the world. It’s nice to not be completely ignored when I step into a store where other women are greeted on sight, and I like it when people actually look me in the eye when we speak.

    It’s bullshit, but I didn’t make the rules and I just want to live as peacefully as possible.

  5. No, because I’ve reached Adulthood Level 40+ and no longer give a fuck about the opinions of others.

  6. When I was younger especially during my teens, yes I did feel that way. I’m in my early 30s now and I don’t give a shit anymore.

  7. Not always, no. I like to look good when I want to feel confident and hype myself up but it’s not for the benefit of strangers. Half the time, I get weird looks.

  8. When I (36f) leave the house I at least few I need to have my hair and makeup done because I’m back in the dating world again… ugh.

  10. not to impress others or anything, but looking good makes me feel good and i’m more likely to be productive and confident if i think/know i look nice, also making an effort to look nice kick starts effort to do other things because you don’t want how hot you look to go to waste lol

  12. I think when I was in the office I did cuz corporate bs culture. I slowly had gotten rid of my casual stuff and was mostly “put together” every time I left the house. Since covid idgaf. I still like looking at fashion but I feel zero pressure except the random days I gotta go in. I mostly meander the burbs being comfy. And I only really buy soft/comfy things or things I love, not what people expect me to wear. I probably look like a deranged badger now but 🤷🏻‍♀️

  13. I don’t feel any pressure to always look good. I’ve just noticed that when I look good I feel good so I just go with that.

  14. Some days I don’t even brush my hair or get dressed, but I try to at least be decent if company is coming over or put together if I’m going out.

    When I do get dressed up and do detailed makeup it’s usually just for my own entertainment.

  15. No, I work from home and am in PJs all day, everyday. I even wear lounge clothes when I’m out running errands. I’m not going to make an effort on appearances for people whose opinions don’t matter to me.

  16. Unfortunately yes. I have been conditioned to be concerned with my appearance. In most situations, the better I look the better I am treated. I’m lucky in that people don’t treat me poorly if I’m in sweatpants and not wearing makeup. But I am rewarded (free things, better/more attentive service, line skipping etc) if I put in effort. Alas I am no better than Pavlov’s dogs. Or pigeons.

  18. Not necessarily pressure especially now that Covid has hit. Indifference! But before, I was very aware that there is a thin line for women. Where we can look casual, but not TOO casual where we become labeled sloppy. We don’t get to look TOO “bad”.

    Look at male celebs compared to female celebs. How sloppy men can be, when the women are dressed to the nines all the time.

  19. Nope definitely not….i just dress up to boost my confidence cause I know when I look good i can actually give confident vibes….helpful specially at events

  20. I used to do more when I was younger ( around teens ) I think it’s because I had a lot of insecurities back then. It’s less nowadays since I feel more confident in myself

  21. People treat me better when I put more effort into my appearance. I fly a lot for work and I’ve even experimented, going without makeup, in sweats and a hat, I’m treated just normal. Sometimes even in a dismissive way. Then tried going more dolled up, make up, crop top, and the check-in ppl r nicer, body language from others is more inviting. If I’m traveling internationally it even makes the security booth interactions (usually men) more pleasant.

    This might be partly due to the confidence I have when I feel more attractive. But ppl who look better are treated better in public settings..like when ur personality can’t really be interpreted in brief interactions.

  23. No. Never. It’s important to me to be attractive for my husband, but I don’t feel any actual pressure to be. My works doesn’t care what I look like.

  24. I did. In my old school people were jerks and made fun of me because of how i dressed. I felt pressure then for sure, but know I am in a new school with grown up people and I wear whatever I like with nobody making any comments. I dress for myself like I should and I don’t care anymore about people’s opinions.

  25. Culturally it was standard in my family to look generally presentable when leaving the house, so I feel that internal pressure.

    I get better service when I look good, so I more so do a cost benefit analysis of the effort to look good vs. the level of service I need.

    I also replaced all standard ‘hanging out in house/comfortable bummy clothes’ with stuff like matching sweat suits or anything that still feels comfortable that I know will look nice so I get the benefit of feeling nice without the mental energy put toward putting an outfit together.

  26. Not a lot. As long as I am clean I think that’s enough and others should be happy about it. I mainly want to look good for myself, so probably I am the one pressuring myself lol

  28. No. “Being pretty is not the rent I must pay to exist.” I read that once and it stuck with me. I like dressing up when I want. Most of the time I focus on being clean and comfortable. I do recognize though that I have the privilege of being somewhat conventionally pretty, so my baseline looking good takes less work.

  35. I don’t usually care, and I’m not attractive either. lol. I don’t wear makeup, I have my hair in a pony tail most of the time and if not then just down. And I wear pretty plain clothing, plain colored t-shirt and jeans and that’s about it. Haha. I think the main reason that makes me not feel pressure is the fact that I know not everything is about me and I’m gonna take a guess that 99% of the people that see me don’t even notice or recognize me because they’re going about with their life trying to find the drinks isle or other things in their life.

    This isn’t to say that I don’t care about how clean I look though. I’ll still make sure my pony tail is smooth and my hair is brushed and I’m wearing clean clothing and not wrinkled clothing, etc. And I don’t have eye boogies, etc. lol

  36. Not always no. But when i make the effort to like brush my hair or put on a little makeup, I do feel a bit more put together and an uptick in my mood

  37. No. I’m fat and because of that, no matter how I present myself, a section of society will never think I’m attractive.

    I do dress nicely for work and make sure I don’t look like a slob. But I don’t wear make up or put much thought into my hair.

  38. I used to, but a few years ago I started a job in a bakery that a) begins very early in the morning, b) doesn’t involve working with the public, and c) is very messy, so since then I’ve sort of lost interest in putting myself together before leaving the house. I still like dressing up a bit and putting effort into my appearance when I’m going out or something, but when the work day ends in exhaustion and being covered in flour and butter one learns to be comfortable with looking like trash.

  39. i make an effort 6/7 days per week mostly for myself but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also do it for others

  41. When I was in a relationship, no. I felt secure in the knowledge that the person I cared about found me attractive regardless. Now that’s no longer the case and I’m single, I feel a lot more conscious of looking good when I go out. I think it’s a self confidence thing (ie. I have none!).

  42. My mom was absolutely obsessed with looks so now I have this internal pressure to look good at all times.

    I kind of got better with it through forcing myself to not wear make up at all throughout the entire last year of high school because I somehow knew that I had a problem (back then I didn‘t know the name of it though)

    I also dyed my blonde hair super dark. It almost gave me a new personality.
    People would start treating me differently but I hardcore pushed myself through this year and it was the best thing I have ever done for my confidence.

    To make myself feel better about myself I would start going to the gym three times a week.

    The last thing I did that year was, because I had major social anxiety, I would make the rule that whenever the teacher asks me a question or asks people who would want to do their presentation first I would be the first one to raise my hand. I would also volunteer a lot to do presentations.

    The beginning of it was very shaky lol and obviously I embarrassed myself because of being extremely nervous, although my real friends didn’t care. I needed to tell myself over and over again in my head that it doesn’t matter what people think to overwrite the little critical voice in my head.

    So it was some sort of a shock therapy that got me out of the fear of speaking in public.

    this gave me more confidence to not wear so make up now when I go outside. I still struggle with my looks and body image but it‘s been slightly better than when I was a teenager because I couldn‘t even speak in front of a full classroom at all before that year and had severe anxiety. Luckily my social anxiety is mostly gone now.

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