I have been told I make people angry because I talk to much, annoy people or talk about myself too much. I frankly have developed extreme anxiety over speaking. It’s making me depressed because no matter how much I work on it I’m scared that I’ll annoy someone. I know where my habits come from if I don’t see/talk to someone regularly this habit develops. I find I get excited and share everything. I find I just blurt stuff out without processing and I’m really ashamed of it. I wanna change it I don’t like people secretly disliking me and never telling me. I only found out about this because I had security cameras in my home and I accidentally overheard my brother say how much I’m full of myself. (Explains how I talk about myself). I do not think I’m perfect nor anything I am just proud of my achievements and don’t do much outside of work. So, I talk about that and it tends to be my only talking points. I have read things like asking more questions but it’s so awkward because I say “Oh,cool how’s that?” and really struggle. I really need advice because I am at such a low self-esteem and fear speaking and need pointers.
Also, I apologize for my horrible writing.
1 comment
Ooh, this is a tough one, but kudos to you for wanting to change! Maybe you can be more mindful with people’s body language when you talk to them? Most people make it very obvious when they aren’t interested in the conversation anymore, even if they don’t try to. If they start darting their eyes around, or maybe fidgeting, or only respond in monosyllabic “Mhm” and “Hmm”s, then that’s a good time to wrap it up and change the topic. You can either ask them for their opinions, or maybe ask them about whether they can relate, remember things they talk about themselves and ask follow up questions (“Hey, yesterday you mentioned your dog looking sick, any updates?”), or just switch up the topic to something general (maybe a movie or current issues that you can both share opinions in).