Hi everyone, last friday I (16M) met a girl (15F) at a place where teens hang out and stuff. To put it shortly I talked to her pretty much the entire evening and it was fun, I had the guts and asked for her number when I had to leave and she told me that she found that fun.
I got home pretty late but I messaged when I got home to let her know I got home safe that evening but I guess she already went to sleep because the message did not arrive, oh well that is fine with me.
Saturday we made plans to meet up that evening again and she seemed really excited, so I went there but I was kind of uncertain of what the hell to do (first girl, so yeahhh i dont know how the game works), so we just sat there talking and I could kind of say she was uncomfortable. It was very cold as well so she asked 1 of her friends if we could come over to sit there.
So we arrived there and I sat next to her. Our legs were touching each other the entire time when we sat there and we talked about “memes” her mom sent her on her phone and we shared a cigarette (yes we smoke, and that is our choice), up until the point she went home. I walked her home that evening too.
I text her everyday but not desperately, so like I answer some later and I dont spam her when she doesn’t answer. We also (video)call for like half an hour every evening and talk about the day. I mostly call her up randomly or say I will call at this and that time and she always agrees. This is the first girl I ever (randomly) call or meet up with.
However i feel like she does not have the same vibe as she did before, she also did not answer the entire day yesterday until after school, now that could be because of school ofcourse, or that she never checks her phone, but its kind of worrying me.
Next Friday me and her will meet again and I really want to make up for last Saturday and make her feel comfortable and everything, I even want to ask her out for a real date but im uncertain if she will say yes.
I obviously dont want to pressure her into doing anything because she is still quite young and she told me about a traumatic experience with some other guy too, is that maybe why she is kind of being like this?
TL:DR So does anyone have any advice or tips because I really dont want to lose her at all. It is been way too long since I felt this way for a girl.
4 comments
Well done on getting her number.
Yes she likes you. Whether that will become romantic is down to lots of factors. Some you control. Lots you can’t. From what you write it seems like there is a potential romantic spark between you.
You can’t know all the different things that make someone act or feel a particular way.
All you can do is be honest about your feelings, while respecting hers. and the best way to know what her feelings are is to ask her.
If you want her to be comfortable then listen to her and be responsive to what she tells you, verbally and otherwise.
You seem like an empathetic person. If you get the vibe that you are ‘coming on too strong’ then tone it down.
If you want to go on a ‘date’ date with her then ask her out. If she says no, respect that. If you want to maintain a friendship with her (by which I mean you think you can be friends with her despite your romantic feelings not being reciprocated) then tell her you understand, are disappointed, but that you like her and would like to still spend time together.
If she says yes, though, great.
And if she says she’s not sure then say that’s cool, you want to spend time with her – you have feelings for her, you wanted her to know about that. No pressure. No rush. Let’s hang out, have fun, see how things go.
Oh, and I know that smoking seems like a choice but the companies have put a lot of work into making it an addiction. I smoked when I was your age and it took me a long time to quit. I really regret ever smoking so – I know you don’t want to hear it, but ditch the tobacco if you can. It does you no good.
Good luck with the girl. hope some of this is useful.
If u are video calling her and she agrees ur in. And like if she agrees 2 spend time with you then yes I think she likes you. Normally girls don’t spend time with guys they don’t like also you can always be like hey “ I like you” it’s okay if you don’t or something like that so they don’t feel pressured. But yeah to me as a girl it seems like a green flag :0
Some years back I met a woman when I was on holiday (not to far from my home) and we had fun and we were talking alot on the phone.And even when I went back to home we were still talking , calling each other (sometimes) till late in the night.But she had an autoimmune diseases that created mutated bloodcells and that resulted in having very bad kidneys.So sometimes she didn’t answer back and most of the time I started to panic because I knew how bad her health was at that time.So after weeks of speaking each other almost every day I said the words ”I do think I have feelings for you”. and she said ”Oooh thank god I feel the same about you but I didn’t know how to tell you and I was afraid what if you wouldn’t feel the same”.I was her first and she was the first that I really felt something for( we are still together).
Bottom line of this story is , I don’t think a woman and man spend so much time talking to each other on the phone or in real life without having feelings for each other.If she is not replying back , maybe something important is going on you never know.So I would ask her out for a date , if you don’t ask/try, you’ll never know.And maybe if you wait to long she starts to think you don’t have feelings for her and moves on and find maybe someone else.
EDIT: Quit smoking before its to late , I’ve smoked for a long time and it was hard to stop. Even when I saw someone dying because of smoking I still started with it and continued with it.
It sounds like she likes you and is probably just nervous as things continue to progress. I’m in my 30s now and still probably act funny to men when I like them or when they give me positive attention like you are doing with this girl, but I remember when I was 15, it was so much scarier, because it was all so new to me and I was more afraid of ruining it by doing the wrong thing.
I think you are doing everything right so far and it’s great you are so thoughtful about her comfort. Keep doing what you are doing, imo. I don’t think she’d agree to keep meeting, calling, talking, etc, if she didn’t like you.