The self evaluation is real

Feeling shit tbh. Maybe I’m just bitching and I need grow some tough skin but man I hate the way I feel about myself right now.

Been facing a couple of rejections as of late and been told many times that I’m awkward shy etc.. Looking back at it now, I’ve been told that my whole life. I don’t see myself as awkward at all. I try my best to socialize. I tend to make a lot of friends, I can make people laugh, have had many successful dates, however I admit in some situations like meeting people for the first time, being in situations that I am not used to at all for the first time etc. I do come across as awkward because I try to socialize saying things that don’t make sense (not purposely) or I don’t say much because I don’t know what to say. but other than that a lot of people seem to gravitate towards my energy.

At the same time I’ve chased a couple ppl away because of who I am. And faced many rejections like losing clients, not being accepted into certain things, etc. The rejection kinda stresses me out because i don’t see myself as an overall completely awkward shy person but everyone thinks I am. Including the people I associate with. I try my best to be “confident” and change the image of being an awkward person but no matter what it seems everyone will just look at me as the opposite. How do i change this? How do I just flip the switch on this and become a Dwayne Johnson or Leonardo di caprio. How do I become that guy that attracts everyone they meet and instead of making them uncomfortable? How do I just become that guy at the bar? Should I just start going to the bar solo and start talking to everyone I see? Idk 🤦‍♂️