So I’m seeing this guy casually. Never thought of sex or anything. Ofc I knew we’d be intimate a bit. He told me “I know you’ve been waiting for long” and he thinks I’m ready for it and “he knows I want to”. I never said I’d have sex with him. We just got intimate before twice. But I went with it.
When we were together he said he wanted to try. I was very tensed up and couldn’t relax and barely wet since little foreplay.(He tried oral on me but I didn’t like it since it was intense and I wasn’t wet nor ready for it but he likes it and kept trying so i let him). Then He said he’d try to go in and I felt a lot of pain. He told me it’s just his finger. At this point I was anxious cause I couldn’t tell if it was a finger or his tip since he had his penis right at my vagina. I told him I was uncomfortable and he said its cause I’m tense and not letting him in.. his finger hurt like hell. He wanted to go in without a condom cause its easier and I told him no so I stopped if from happening.
. He then told me I should practise with a dildo to get used to the feel of penis when i was leaving.Idk why but it hurt cause I felt somethings wrong with me . He doesn’t do any aftercare either so I was worried I’d be expected to leave since is causal.
He usually wants Me to leave straightaway.. he’s ignored me before but I guess this is what casual is like ?
His comment threw me off and need advise.
7 comments
He’s just selfish and using you for his own pleasure
Being casual doesn’t mean he has to be an asshole about it. Because that’s what he is being. He should pay more attention to your needs and make you at ease before going any further, it’s not like he can magically slide in after you’ve ‘practiced’ with a dildo.
What an asshole. No condom? Ugh! Don’t hook up with him ever again.
If you’ve had sex before and you haven’t had any issues, then you don’t need any help. He’s just a bad lay.
Are you a virgin?
If you are please don’t sleep with this man.
Your first time should be special and with someone who is going to make you feel special and secure!
If you’re not, still don’t sleep with this guy he sounds a douche.
To be honest, you should probably drop this guy. Sex is a two person activity and you both need to be enthusiastically onboard with having it. Except he clearly doesn’t feel that way — he just wants to use you like a toy. Just to recap your post, he:
1. Is clearly pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to.
2. Doesn’t care about how you feel about your feelings before or afterwards.
3. Brushed off your concerns about not being ready because *he* wanted to try, and proceeded to penetrate you when you weren’t receptive to it. (What’s he going to do next time when he begs for sex and you tell him outright “no, I don’t want to do this.” Do you really trust him to take that as an answer?)
4. Told you to practice using a dildo for something you don’t want to do.
5. Leaves without aftercare, i.e. he doesn’t give a shit how you feel.
This isn’t just casual sex, this is a pushy, gross guy. Lots of people have casual relationships that are sexually fulfilling, but that’s between partners who are enthusiastically onboard. It’s okay if you’re not there yet, there’s nothing wrong with that; I would really suggest you reconsider your relationship with him, because as things are it doesn’t sound like you’re getting anything from it anyway and he’s throwing up red flags right and left.
**Dump this guy.**
**Please.**
ALL he cares about is getting sex from you, he doesn’t care about your pleasure, your health or even if you want it.
Sex without a condom is not easier and FUCK NO. Pregnancy, STDs…no no no no no no.
My thought is, are you even comfortable with sex and sexuality to begin with? If you’ve never masturbated or had sex in any way before, it may affect how you view sex.
I think (from the information we’ve been given) that he could’ve been alot more upfront, more considerate, etc. about the way he sent you off among other things. Although, I don’t disagree with his point about using a dildo. If you have no sexual experience (including masturbation), then masturbating and/or using a sex toy to explore what you like is a great way to get more comfortable with sex.