I (19f) just started having sex again and i don’t know what to do

TW: Sexual Abuse and Drugs

so idk how to start this.

So long story short, when I was 14 I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and started doing drugs, developed an addiction for 2 years. In those two years I was getting abused in many ways by the boyfriend I had at the time. One night I was really high and got sexually assaulted by him and one of his friends, I overdosed after that, in a hospital for a week and then went to rehab for 5 months and sort of got my shit together. 

When I was in rehab, I was only focused on getting clean, I completely blocked the memory from that event because of trauma. When I got out, I kept having sex with other people, because I didn’t want to accept what had happened to me, once I got to the point of accepting what had happened in therapy I said that I was never going to have sex again. I was 16 at the time.

After that moment I never had sex again, not even kissed a guy, I was scared of them.

Fast forward to now, I’ve been 3 years sober and I go to college. Going to college so far away from home and making new friends was like my reinsertion back to reality, like being a functional member of society again.

I made new friends like I said before and met new people. And some friends know about my story.

So I met this guy through a friend, and since the moment I saw him I felt a HUGE attraction, the next day we went to a party and I got extremely drunk and I don’t know how I got the balls to tell him to go back to my room to have sex. 

We went back, we had sex. I was so nervous, so scared. But it turned out to be one of the nicest experiences i’ve ever had and he turned out to be the nicest, most respectful guy i’ve ever known, that night I just told him that I was nervous because it’s been 3 years since the last time I had sex and I told him because he asked me why I was so nervous. He doesn’t know anything about my story. He just knows that I was an addict and that’s about it.

Now we get to the point, we´ve had sex three times now and I´ve been really lacking in performance, like totally lacking, I just lay there and he fucks me and I don´t really like that, from what I remeber, I used to be super active and I liked that, my lacking definitely has to do with me being super nervous and kinda in shock (not in a bad way) that I´m having sex again.

I don´t really want to tell him my story and go into detail, because I don´t want to scare him, but i definitely want to explain him why I am lacking and ask him to have patience, because I want him to enjoy sex the same way he is making me enjoy it.

What should I do?