I’ve just started college and I have this weird problem with talking with other people. It sounds so dumb, but if I think I am “less anxious” or “more popular” than another person, I don’t really worry about talking with them and I don’t really care what they think, so I can be super outgoing and extroverted. However, if I think the other person or group is better than me in these ways and I really want them to like me, I just tend to become really inauthentic and quiet and don’t speak unless spoken too. I try to tell myself to speak up and make jokes and stuff, but my brain just won’t do it.
Reflecting back on my life, this has also been true in other social settings during high school. I don’t know what to do to fix this and start feeling comfortable around everyone instead of feeling nervous and becoming really quiet around people who make me think I’m worse than them.