Growing up, my experiences with guys were devoid of emotional connection. It was talking about school, work, aspirations, etc. Typical stuff that a guy asks trying to understand someone else but not knowing how. And I just realized that I do the exact same thing, and it’s really getting in the way of my ability to socialize.
It’s not like I don’t have anything else to say, but my mouth literally freezes if I try to vocalize it and instead I utter the same phrases. I feel terrible about it. Anyone have guidance on how to unstuck myself?
4 comments
Find someone to become really comfortable with. Your mother, your brother, your friend, anybody. I had this once and i felt “right”.
Most cis guys, especially the straights one, are like that in western cultures.
Social construction of cis masculinity reproduce largely isolated adults who have very few people they feel they can share deep and meaningfull stuffs relatives to their emotions.
Maybe a good start could be trying to find people either online or irl who feel the same kind of desire and wish to construct different more meaningfull relations.
Same
I hope this helps.
First of all try to emotionally connecting with yourself. Acknowledge your emotions . If you feeling angry, don’t say I shouldn’t be angry instead think I’m angry but what made me angry? . What was the trigger? Understand that.
Ask deep questions to yourself. Slowly start bringing this up with others around u. Like ur siblings, parents, maybe friends or significant other. U might not connect with a lot of people which is okay. But u will connect with people who are willing to emotionally connect with u
If u see someone in trouble, emotionally don’t try to solve it, first offer emotional support show them that u are there for them in the moment staying.
Ask people “How are you doing mentally ” ? (Not stranger, people you know. )
Read books or watch stuff that makes u emotionally smart and help you dig deeper.
Communication. Communicate your concerns. Talk them out.
These things helped me a lot. I hope they help u too.