First post here! I’m posting from my phone, sorry if the format’s a little messy. (Posting from a side account).
My best friend and I have been friends for over 15 years. Let’s call her “R”. Despite us having different personalities/views, we’ve always been really close friends.
I have a friend whom I met about 10 years ago. Let’s call him “C”. R and C met each other way before I met C, but they never became friends or anything.
A few years ago, I started hanging out with C more often, and the possibility of R, C, and other friends hanging out together was always mentioned by both of them, but it never happened.
This year, there was a big party they both wanted to go to, so I got the invites and asked them if they were OK with us going together, and they were in. C invited some friends of his, and our group clicked really well.
While chatting about the party plans in the group chat, one of them talked about C’s boyfriend, asking if he was going.
Now, C is very private about his love life. He’s never publicly said he has a boyfriend or that he likes men. He just talks about it with very few people.
Since we lived in a small town, a few years ago R once heard some rumors about C dating men from some gay friends of hers, and asked me if they were true or if I knew anything. I told her I didn’t know. Which was true, I didn’t know back then, I found out eventually, but my answer was the same every time anyone asked me.
So, back to the party. Neither C nor his bf (let’s call him L) made any comments regarding their friends questions or comments in the group chat, and that was that. But R privately texted me saying how those comments and them not denying them confirmed the rumors. I told her it might be true but we should keep it to ourselves because they never explicitly admitted it.
We went to the party and everything went without a hitch, we all had a great time.
Fast forward to now. R and I have a friend who we’ll call “G”. We met her a year after R and I met, so we’ve also been friends for a while. G is closer to R, since they took some classes together and used to hang out more often. G met C a few years later and they used to be good friends, but drifted apart and aren’t close anymore, but still speak friendly about each other.
We made a trip a few weeks ago, and while getting ready to go to the club, G made a comment about C and how it would’ve been nice if he’d come (we invited him but he couldn’t make it). Then she joked about how R though he was handsome and would’ve beed a good opportunity to get closer to him. R then said how that wouldn’t happen, saying something that implied he was gay. I don’t remember her exact words, but she replied something among the lines of “that guy likes d1ck almost as much as we do”.
I was effing livid. I told her to shush, and that she shouldn’t say that. G was confused and asked what we were talking about, but I said it was nothing, and she dropped it. I told R privately that it wasn’t up to her or anyone to out C, and that we should keep it to ourselves. She said G was our friend and she knew him, and I told her it’s not that I don’t trust G, but it’s not our story to tell.
A few days ago C posted about trip he wanted to go to, and he told me R replied saying she wanted to go and that we all should go together. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it, but Idk if I can trust R to hang out with them and not say anything inappropriate.
Ever since that thing with G happened, I’ve been thinking about how easy it was for her to blurt it out to anyone she feels comfortable around. I’ve been wondering if she talked about it with her friends who told her the rumors about C being gay like “Guuuys, guess what!? I found out about this!”. She hung out with them not long ago, and they always asked her about him, so I wonder if she mentioned anything to them. I don’t know if G and R talked about it when I wasn’t around.
I don’t know what to do. I was thinking of talking about it again with R, but Idk if I should tell C what happened. They’re all my friends and I love them dearly, I wouldn’t want to create any unnecessary drama.
Thanks in advance for your advice, and please be nice! Lol.