I love watching my boyfriend jerking off and I’ve noticed that he comes faster than when he has sex with me so I wonder why? I am going to ask him anyway but I would like to know other points of view.

40 comments

  1. Because he’s been doing it for a while now, so he knows the right pressure, tempo… No one can know our bodies better than ourselves. But that’s okay, because masturbating and having sex with someone are two completely different things.

  2. No, it’s just we know exactly what we need and have been doing it our whole life lol plus a lot of times guys try to last longer when having sex for the woman’s pleasure

  3. It’s more about completely a task so I can sleep. I can’t if I don’t. I’m working on enjoying it more and not just a means to get tired

  4. Hmmm…definitely not that way for me…Depending on the situation I could probably take anywhere from 3min to 2 hours to jerk off…sex could be 2 – 15min.

    So I mean if my partner wants to watch me jerk off I would love it but probably wouldn’t make it a drawn out session unless we were mutually masturbating and we wanted to cum together.

  6. As others have said, it’s because the feedback from yourself makes masturbation more “efficient” than when someone else is providing stimulation.

    Do you masturbate? Don’t you find that you get yourself off faster than someone else trying to do it for you?

    In any case, faster doesn’t mean *better*. I can get myself off faster but I much prefer getting off with my partner.

  7. Jacking off is like playing a game with the cheat codes. It is easier but it isn’t better. You typically finish quicker because an orgasm is the only goal and you already know exactly how to get there. Sex isn’t just about finishing as quick as possible though, it is about enjoying the entire experience.

  8. Cumming fast when you’re masturbating and not trying to edge is efficient.

    Cumming fast when you’re having PIV sex with a woman is usually disappointing and can be humiliating.

  9. You’re not a mind reader. When his brain says “Faster” or “More pressure,” or “A bit higher up,” there’s a ¼ second and then he gets exactly what he wants. No two people can communicate their wants and needs as well as one person and their id.

    It’s **highly** unlikely he enjoys masturbating over sex. And moreover, if he’s doing it to give you a show, that is, on some level, sex to him. He’s getting the *exact* stimulus that masturbation provides, but you watching means he also gets some of the intimacy of partnered sex. I really wouldn’t make anything of it.

  11. Because a guy just wants to cum…. when it’s with a partner, we’re all afraid of being judged.. can’t be a 2 pump chump…

    If you want a guy to cum, tall him… tell him you want him to cum all over you, your hands (whatever)… and how you want to play with his sticky thick cum…. and how you want to taste his warm sticky salty seamen…

    He’ll be shooting ropes of sticky cum in short order

  13. Yes, much faster with masturbation. The main reason, I think, is because with masturbation most of the action occurs in your head and thus the sex is exactly how you want it. Real sex, on the other hand, is usually less pretty and more of a compromise.

  14. Cumming isn’t hard for guys, I think most guys can just squeeze their legs and make themselves cum in a minute, it’s a better time when you pace yourself though.he probably feels the pressure to come when he’s being watched, whereas sex you’re usually trying to stop yourself from cumming too quick

  15. Jacking off is like getting from point A to B as fast as possible for that end goal.

    Sex is more about enjoying the journey and making sure that she enjoys the trip too.

  16. I love watching my boyfriend jerk off too, and I’ve noticed that he cums faster when jerking off because when he’s jerking off he actually lets himself cum right when he feels the urge.

    When we have sex, he starts mentioning the urge to cum within a minute or two, or even seconds if it’s been a while. But he wants the experience to last and he wants me to have as many orgasms as possible, so he delays his orgasm for as long as possible until he can’t hold it anymore.

    And when it’s your own body, you intuitively know how to achieve sensations that you may not know how to ask a partner for. But trust me, a hot pussy and a hot mouth and intimacy with a partner feels astronomically better than a calloused hand in an empty room, any day.

    Just lay back and enjoy the show. And learn from it. Pay attention to how he touches himself and incorporate it into your blowjobs/handjobs.

  17. Because they have no pressure of satisfying anybody else like in sex…in masturbation they just want to get pleasure asap. That’s it!

  19. If we want to cum fairly quickly I’m sure most of us are fairly efficient at being able to get over the line. We know our own body’s pretty well. I guess like you could probably bring yourself to orgasm on your own faster than a partner would get you there.

    Usually sex isn’t about just reaching orgasm anyway, it’s more fun to slow down, tease and play with each other for a longer time for a mutual fun experience rather than trying to just cum as fast as possible.

    If I’ve made my partner cum though and she wants me to finish I’ll be able to get there pretty easily since we’ve already been fucking and playing together, we will already be at say a 7 but just back off a little when we get too close to orgasm to prolong the experience for us both. So if she’s done and just wants a cuddle I can cum pretty easily on demand if she wants, we can then just collapse into each others arms

  20. When we jerk off it is like when you play a basketball game with no players on the other side …
    Yes it is much eaiser for you win the game …but it is much less satisfying to not have another party that you are trying to do it with…
    your mind dictates when you are gonna cum …so you can reach that point much faster
    Nonetheless you can actually control when you cum if you take things slow enough …I manged to do it in like an hour or even more at some cases

  21. It’s posts like these that remind me of how weird I am. Jerking off for me is about an hour commitment. I’ve gotten there faster but it’s rare. It’s actually more common that I don’t Cum at all and the whole thing ends in frustration. For that reason I tend not to jerk off too often.

    Sex can take awhile with me too. Certainly longer than the average guy I’m told. But with the right person doing things just right and really playing with my kinks and fetishes I can cum in 10 min.

    People will think I’m lying or bragging, they always do, but I assure you this isn’t a trait that’s always positive. If I don’t cum, which especially when I’m with a girl for the first time it’s definitely less than half the time, girls can take things pretty personally. I’ll try warning before hand but it’s always taken as some humble brag and met with eye rolls and “I’m sure there won’t be any problems” but then has ended with girls thinking I don’t find them attractive, sometimes in tears and even being accused of being secretly gay, which was actually said in frustration by my first gf years into our relationship.

    It’s very frustrating that no one seems to take me seriously about it until they realize I wasn’t lying. Then again I know full well how much most guys lie to get in girls’ pants. It just sucks that it’s made it default to assume every guy is a liar. At least seemingly for most girls I’ve gotten far enough to have an honest conversation about it.

    Sorry for the rant…just wanted to say not ALL guys are the same, I can’t be the only one who’s like this….

  22. I guess the same way girls can cum faster through masturbation too? We control the pleasure to exactly how we like it.

  23. Because I’m the best at jerking myself off to ever do it. I’m #1. I’m the goat. I know my dick better than anyone else. All jokes aside its the fact that we have a 1-1 link with it and built up skill

  24. I think its the same if you turn it around. Every single girl ive ever slept with could do it a million times quicker themselves, because they know *exactly* what to do.

    (For me) sex with a vagina feels less ‘directly’ euphoric than jacking off or getting a handjob, but even then its still heaps better and feels ‘complete’. I think i cum slower because that direct/intense euphoria is what makes me cum, and its just not as intense in a vagina even though its way more “clean” feeling.

    Not to mention the mental side like performance anxiety and whatnot. And SSRI’s fuck that shit.

  25. Wanking’s stimulation ceiling is much higher than with sex. With sex, us blokes get off by thrusting inside our lady, and the physical stimulation intensity is controlled by how vigorously we can thrust our pelvises. With wanking, though, we can (1) jerk our fists up and down much more rapidly, and (2) grip our penises much more tightly, and also (3) target the absolute best and most sensitive spots on our penises much more precisely. Not saying sex with our ladies can’t be mindblowingly amazing, but wanking tends to be more efficient.

  26. When I jerk off its for my pleasure, when I have sex it’s for hers so I try holding back

  27. As others have mentioned, he knows exactly what works & as a result reaches climax a lot quicker.

    Overtime he’ll gain more sexual experience with you and know what rhythm/positions/etc works for both of you.
    Do keep in mind the speed of which one orgasms is not equal to the amount of pleasure, there’s great fun to be had by delaying!

    Many guys can go “for another round” depending on the refraction time.
    If the over-stimulation isn’t too much to handle (*this depends moment to moment*) it’s possible to keep going even after reaching a climax.

    Don’t worry about it OP, if speed is all that’s wrong in your current sex life it’s actually a healthy & hopefully enjoyable for you both!

  28. 1) we know exactly what to do to achieve the end goal of orgasm. We’ve been doing it to ourselves for a long time

    2) since we’ve been doing it for a long time a lot of situations where we did it required speed due to time constraints and not wanting to get caught

  29. He’s definitely thinking about something when he’s pulling it. Nothing my makes me cum faster than the warm wet grip of my missus perfect pussy. So much better than my rough, calloused tradesman hands.

  30. Because nobody is better at getting your boyfriend off than your boyfriend. He’s had years of practice lmao.

  31. For me, it is just 2 different sensations that feel completely different. No harm or knock on my partner. Her pussy is amazing and my hand is amazing!🤤

  32. As someone who had Death grip syndrome(Google it if you don’t know the term) , until I had some experience with sex I couldn’t even get close to cumming with actual penetration. We’ve been doing it for years and know our dicks exactly necessary rhythm to cum. It’s just something that you need to practice with your partner and he should be able to give you instructions(faster, harder grip etc..). Don’t think this is a you problem by any means.

  33. Masturbation is probably is literally 1/100th the sensation of the real thing.

    It’s not in any way a comparable experience.

    Ever give yourself a massage? It’s like that.

  34. Jerk off and sex are completely different. You don’t have to buy dinner for your hands prior.

  35. Next time your boyfriend jerks off for you.. tell him you want him to hold off until you give him permission to cum. Some people find that kind of thing really hot

  36. Not necessarily enjoy it more(even though in some cases thats true) but i know just what i need to get off. I know how tight i gotta squeeze, how hard i gotta pump in just the way i like it. There is a reason the saying “no one knows you like you do” exist.

  38. Often, guys masturbate *for the orgasm* .

    I’m a big bearded outdoorsy type, but I’m still an advanced enough caveman to know that there’s more to sex than my orgasm. There’s her beautiful body to connect with, there’s her pleasure to focus on, there’s the combined pleasure/erotic journey we are on together.

    Sex is a group activity. It should take longer than solo.

  40. Jerking off is about doing one thing and one thing only. It’s not a long or passionate process. Once you’re hard, whether you use porn or your imagination, it’s easy to make yourself finish. The rhythm, the speed, the tightness of the grip… we know what our penis needs and how to get it quickly. It’s definitely easy and efficient.

    Having said THAT… it doesn’t beat sex.

    You’re comparing the equivalence of pouring boiling water to make yourself a cup of ramen, to a night out at a nice restaurant. They fulfill the same basic need – but ones a full experience compared to just taking care of a need.

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