Debated posting in relationship forum but I feel it fits here too. Coming from a straight 25M, ladies, if your partner fails to get you to climax most if not all the time, is that enough to end the relationship even if everything else is going perfect? I know there will be yes and no answers, just looking for general consensus. Personally I feel like it’s hard out here dating as a man, or maybe me personally, and worrying about if you’ll be enough in bed, as I feel that climax comes much easier to men than women

22 comments
  1. Honestly, I’d look at the totality of the situation and make a judgement from there. Having my partner get me to cum is important but if the rest of the sex and our relationship is great then it just might be an opportunity to work on improving our dynamic.

  2. I know tonnes of girls that hardly ever come and just fake it and don’t seem to mind at all, but I come quite easily if I really like the guy so there would be something very wrong if I wasn’t coming in a relationship.
    If a guys skills aren’t great, I can make myself come “using” (for want of a better word) him/ his dick/ fingers/mouth, if that makes sense? Is not as good a if he’s the one doing it but it’s enough. I don’t think a partner’s orgasm is all on you. They need to work at it too.

  3. >if your partner fails to get you to climax most if not all the time, is that enough to end the relationship even if everything else is going perfect?

    That wouldn’t be enough to end the relationship, BUT only if he still tries and is invested in my pleasure.

  4. It wasn’t the end of the relationship when I didn’t know any better. Now i know better. I’m married to the person who has consistently given me the best sex of my life. I hope to remain married, but if something happened like an injury or an illness that meant it was very different or more difficult it would not mean the end. The relationship is not built on sex, but it is a significant part of many aspects of our compatibility. Our sense of humour for example is very connected to our sexual compatibility, and it’s the sense of humour that our relationship foundations are made from.

  5. Its an issue. Sit down away from the bedroom and talk about sex. Ask her how you can help her climax.

  6. If bad sex is the only problem then it shouldn’t be the end of a relationship, but if the sex is bad for other reasons then yes. Sometimes bad sex could just be bad technique and you can talk to them coach them and let them know what you like. But if the sex is bad because you remember something bad about them or they just make you feel bad in general or don’t make you feel anything emotionally then that type of relationship needs to be let go immediately.

  7. Honestly not cumming doesn’t necessarily equal bad sex for me. And cumming doesn’t necessarily equal good sex for me. I’ve had sex where I’ve had an orgasm but it wasn’t good sex. And vice versa.

    Consistently bad sex will mean the end of a relationship for me, very likely, sooner or later.

  8. Depends on if you make sex a priority in your relationship or not, or if your partner does.

  9. If my partner wasn’t able to make me orgasm then yes I wouldn’t continue our relationship.

  10. Do you refer to pentetrative sex? Because for most of us, penetration alone is not enough to reach an orgasm. So it depends on the time you dedicate to her after and before the penetration. This is what will make you a good sexual partner. Caring enough to help her reach orgasm through different ways.

  11. Always everybody now the and in a relationship the feeling we take for the lady’s is always looking for a next parthener to make relationship’s
    So if you have this feeling just start to looking for something new

  12. To me no orgasm doesn’t mean it’s bad sex. I get a lot of enjoyment out of the whole thing, regardless. Every woman will have a different opinion about it, though.

  13. For me it would be, yes, but I cum very easily so they’d have to be spectacularly bad to manage to do it!

  14. Bad sex is way different from me not cumming. Bad sex… not gonna bother continuing. Me not cumming, don’t really care unless I wanted to and he refused to participate.

  15. No it isn’t, however that is IF he is not a selfish lover and eager to learn what works for her!

  16. Would depend on how high up on her importance list sex was. If she’s high libido, then possibly it would be a deal-breaker. Other things are more important, that you excel at, then probably not.

  17. I think the attitude and awareness is probably what matters more than the outcome, in terms of the female orgasm.

    Based on the prototypical exasperated female post on this subreddit, the principal issue women have is that many men are aware of sex entirely through the lens of pornography, which depicts primarily male penetration, and are therefore unaware that orgasm through penetration is the exception for women rather than the rule.

    Second to that, a large number of those men are also “grossed out” by the female anatomy, and seemingly incapable of empathetic role-reversal with women. So, for example, they expect and enjoy blowjobs, but find going down on a woman “gross”, and don’t think any further than that about the issue. Obviously, if they thought more about it, they’d realize that the pleasure *both* people get from oral is primarily about making the *other* person happy, and that most women blowing *them* are *also* overcoming something that, with over-analysis, would seem gross.

    While it’s obviously true that the female orgasm is “harder” than the male one to achieve, your attitude toward that is really up to you. From my perspective, what that means is that I get to have fun with my partner’s body for a *long* time before sex is over, which is great, because I get to look at and touch a naked woman that I’m attracted to for more time, and hear the sounds she makes, and enjoy making her happy and horny.

    I think if you approach sex as “I get to touch this woman, and try to make her feel great, and then I get to cum”, rather than “I am sentenced to be judged on my sexual prowess, oh no”, you’ll do a lot better in bed.

  18. It would depend on the reason why I didn’t finish? Like if he was being impatient and ignoring whatever I said, that would be a big red flag for his personality in general so I might end things. If he was trying and things weren’t clicking then it’s fine, we can try different things. I’ve failed to get partners off too, and I definitely wasn’t lazy or uninvested in their pleasure

  19. Personally it’s a big deal for me. But work with him to get you there ? Try reading she comes first together. My ex was having a hard time getting me to finish and a lot of times I wasn’t enjoying it that’s why I couldn’t finish. So we read the book together to learn about sex together and 😭👌🏽👌🏽 it fixed the problem

  20. Tell him to level up because his effort to get to know your body and his lack of concern for your pleasure is pretty selfish and telling of how little he cares for you as an individual.

    Then don’t feel leaving him bad if he doesn’t try

  21. No it’s not the end It needs to be the beginning of better communication and men need to take the time to pay attention to their woman. Have fun. A lot of men out there are in a big hurry to get to the end. I say take your time. Make a day out of it

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