Autistic Trying to learn more about social norms and any help appreciated

Will be a long post, but necessary.

Here’s the situation: I have Asperger’s and I need to learn social skills. Yes need. Social skills is necessary in every facet of success in society. I don’t think this is a debatable topic in this thread. I wish for a good life and this will need to be done. I want to be at the level where I can have all the kinds of relationships I wish, so I hope this can prove a good resource.

In case you don’t know what autism is, a very short tldr: I don’t learn social skills naturally and never will. I’m at level zero and need to be at a good level. I have to turn IQ—>EQ, and this is a way of doing that. I can go on all day, but this is one of the ways it affects me, so I have to work with that.

It will be necessary for me to do some observational learning from others. How I will do this is that I will observe people “people watch.” Festivals, bars, restaurants, clubs are good candidates. I’m really not trying to be stalkerish, but I don’t have a choice. It’s a problem to lose chances at learning, and it’s also a problem to people watch. What a dilemma!

Thist may not go well. Why? If I’m at a social function alone, trying to observe how others interact, it won’t look good. If I try to act social, it will go badly. If I disclose my situation, it will go badly (I live in a small community and mental disorders are very stigmatized in the US).

I hope there are some high EQ people in this sub reddit that can help me find some answers about socialization. That will help immensely. Yes, high EQ. I can’t learn anything meaningful from people with low EQ nor improve. EQ —> emotional intelligence.

In case the solution is that I’ll have to interact in these various social functions, I hope I can ask guys how to go about it. For example, which kind of bars should I go to? What’s the dynamic in bars in small communities? Where should I sit? Is talking to couples off limits? All of this I DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER. I can’t start with experience, so I’ll have to start with knowledge. I’m exacerbated on even having to write about this, but I don’t have a choice. Therapy is not accessible for me and I don’t think it’ll even help much. I look for you guys for help and I hope what I’m writing here makes even a little sense. If it doesn’t, ask. Anything else, write.