My husband wants to leave me with a child and pregnant because I stress him out and don’t allow him to be stable since we were together before we had children. Although I have tried to fix my marriage, he does not see any of it regardless of how much time and effort I have put into it. Although I have my own flaw, he doesn’t like it because it’s a bad habit. The other thing is that I have been helping some, but he does not expect my full time. Additionally, I have a job, school, children, and house responsibilities. Similarly, he did the same, but was not satisfied with what I hadn’t done for him. Rather than feed him stress, he just wanted to remain single and find better women who able stable for him and encourage me to live my own life but will be co parents for children. It has taken me a long time to come to the realization that I failed this marriage by putting a lot of faith in our ability to work on it. what should i do?
8 comments
I don’t think you should give up… sounds like he is frustrated and resentful and yeah right now he wants to find something better but honestly he won’t find it out there in other people… if he stays with that mentality then he will be bouncing around like a bunny looking for the next best thing that makes him happy for the moment.
I would really encourage him to speak to some men or therapist about the situation.
I would encourage you to check out the Marriage Helper utube videos and they can provide some helpful tools to help you bring him back and maybe save your marriage
It sounds like he has unrealistic expectations on what his life would look like post children. If he cant change his mindset he is going to be miserable as long as he is married with children full time. He might very well do better at being a weekend parent where he can spend the majority of the time focused on himself.
I’m sorry, but I want to scream!
Stop all the fairy tale stuff. Life is not simple. But it is life.
Divorce is stupid. I’ve been there. You will both be destroyed even more; financially, emotionally and physically. You will start over – in all manners. Friends who you thought were yours will divide. You will get looked at funny at the store….. and the poor kids who need a mom and dad.
The two of you need to treat each other and this MARRIAGE with respect! Yikes! Get to a financial consultant and look for ways to make small investments. Find ways to get the kids enrolled in groups and you parents sit and talk while they play at the park … look around and instead of being jealous, make small changes in life and move forward.
I had four kids. They grew fast. Was any of the dumb arguing about our struggles of life worth it? Did the divorce do any good? No. And the kids STALLED and didn’t get the best knowledge for the future …
Idk. Please save the marriage, if possible. Forgive my words if they are harsh.
I would not want to be married to someone who didn’t want to be married to me. You can’t fix your marriage by yourself. If he doesn’t want to, then it’s over. Move on.
“Allow him to be stable”? What does that mean
He sounds selfish and doesn’t have a realistic look or view of life with children. Small children mean that you need to focus on them.
They didn’t ask to be here, you brought them here therefore that is your primary focus and responsibility.
The single parent life is hard but dealing with a miserable unappreciative spouse is harder, trust me. Don’t be intimidated, you got this. Leave him and focus on yourself. Your kids are resilient. Fight tooth & nail for 50/50 asset split and don’t let him fool you on child support. You will need it if you intend on staying in school. Childcare is affordable IF you find someone who is a stay-at-home person (wife/mom/college student/elderly). I hope you’re currently employed!
More context is needed for anyone to give you quality advice.
—> “I don’t allow him to be stable.” What does that mean? What are you doing that prevents stability in his view?
—> although I have my own flaw…. It’s a bad habit: what is? What flaw do you have and what is a bad habit?
—> you have been helping some? In what way? Financially, or?
—> “he isn’t satisfied with what I haven’t done for him” What have you done? What did you agree you would do? What’s the expectation on his end?
—> Although I have tried to fix my marriage….. by doing what? Did you change habits? Talk about needs and expectations? Go to counseling? What efforts were made and in response to which problems?
You aren’t going to get good insight without more context.
You can be stable but it’s hard with all the pregnancy hormones.