Hi,
So one of the relationship aspects is the financial side, and as far as I can see there are 4 options to deal with bills:
1/ The 50/50 split: both work
2/ The provider(focus on work)/supporter(stay at home)
3/ The equity split: based on percentage of the total income
4/ The join account
So my domain of work is a lucrative one which means 80% of the time I will be the one earning more in the relationship and even if that is not the case I will always prefer to opt for option 1 when talking about finance in a relationship. But lately whenever I am in a relationship most of the other partners will want to opt for option 3 which I see as they are training to rely more on me on that aspect even when coming to cooking or cleaning we will split the work 50/50.
In one of the relationships I suggested that we also should split the housework as the percentage we share the house bills(it’s fair by my standards) but she didn’t receive it well.
So now I am rethinking my values why not go to a classic relationship where my other partner stays at home if I am always going to be the one who pays more in the bills.
I want to read your opinions and experiences.
6 comments
It really depends on the how much one person is earning v.s. the other. The bottom line is, how do we come to an agreement where neither partner feels taken advantage of. If you out earn your partner by a huge difference but they work more hours then it’s gonna get tricky. My husband and I combine finances and our gap is only a couple thousand dollars a year. So housework is pretty even.
Options 5; just let shit fall how it may and not try to plan that sort of stuff for a future partner…
I think we’re doing way too much thinking for a relationship we’re not in yet. Cross this bridge when we get to it. It’s gonna depend on what you and your partner both agree is best.
As someone that often makes more money than the people I date, I can’t imagine doing anything but number 3. I’m not going to limit my lifestyle choice bc they can only afford x and I have to match x exactly. And if you want to live the same life style as before but understand the person makes less money, what are they to do? Give you every last dollar they earn for rent/mortgage/electric etc and have absolutely no money.
The way I see it is “you get to live the same lifestyle but it costs you less money and they get to live a slightly better lifestyle than what they may be able to afford on their own”. Seems like a win-win to me.
Also splitting housework by anything but 50/50 when both people work is basically saying someone’s job is less draining bc they make less money. Seems extremely arbitrary. That being said, any adult that doesn’t just automatically do their portion of house work is not someone I want to be with. I can’t even imagine having to sit someone down and discuss who’s doing what chores. That’s what you do with a child. Who was picking up after you when you lived alone? Just because someone makes less money doesn’t mean they turn into your maid.
I personally want my significant other to work unless we are just swimming in the cash bc all extra money is more money.
Now, those are just my thoughts. There’s someone out there for everyone maybe you’ll find the person for you that has the same values.
You are needlessly overcomplicating things my guy.
There is no option 3 and 4 for me.
We both work, we both contribute equally financially and home chores. There is no need to share accounts if we both work. If she wants to stay home, joint account and she is responsible for everything to do with the home.
Depends on what ur looking for and the person ur dealing with and how long u have been dating.
Like going out to dates like dinner etc a guy should pay most of the dates. And the woman should at least pay for a few.
Long term it depends on if ur both working and whatnot. If this is going to go long term then both should be working to some degree. And the lower income person should contribute what they can.
If ur just bf gf for awhile I would do equity split.
Fiancée u can have a joint a cojt. For bills like food rent etc.
Married it depends on each persons views but a equity or joint account. U less like u starting to plan to have kids then obviously someone needs to care for the kids and stay home to some degree. So the supporter provider situation might make more sense then.