I’ve been seeing a wonderful girl recently who checks a lot of my boxes. We always have a good time together, however something is truly missing for me. Whenever we are together something just feels off, almost like I caught the “ick” (if anyone can relate).
We’ve been on 4 great dates so far and at this rate it pretty much guaranteed to go the relationship route. We tried frisky stuff last time we hung out and it was fun, however she mentioned that she wanted to try something that I was NOT comfortable with at all – not even slightly. Like it was an absolutely disgusting suggestion. It immediately turned me off, and to make things worse, she pushed the issue a bit further. I had gotten some controlling vibes a bit earlier apart from this.
When we aren’t together, I don’t miss her/think about her, of course with the exception of now. I know that she’s a treasure but I almost see her more as a friend at this point.
Any advice from anyone?
29 comments
she’s trying to push your sexual boundaries and that is gross. run as far as you can.
Now we need to know what she wanted to do.
Was it Bsdm or something like that? It really depends on what is was. Some people just arent compatible but its okay to some extent that people have kinks. Its okay to throw in the towel if you are feeling that way but perhaps it might work out. The ball is in your court. . . .do whats best for you
If you don’t like her, end it.
You don’t like her, you are not compatible w her, you just love the attention and how she “completes your boxes” maybe she’s your type on the outside but the inside you don’t like her that much lol
How is she *”wonderful*” if she grosses you out? Why can’t you say what she wanted you to try?
Ummmm… Then don’t go on another date then?
If your getting a feeling or intuition that something is off then follow your intuition bro. I went through a similar situation and I had a feeling and she was with someone else….
Lmao she was tryna take ya booty.
Just end it. Sometimes it doesn’t work out and that’s okay. But end it ASAP
Dude you can’t just leave us hanging, what did she want to do?
Hahaha I was going to ask if she wanted to do butt stuff to you. Don’t knock it til you try it!
What did she want to try? You gotta tell us what it was
Dude. I think we need stark details beyond what you’ve offered so far. This is Reddit: believe us, we can take it.
sexual compatibility is massive in relationships! reading your comments I’m assuming she wanted to peg you, and if you’re not into that, that’s okay! best to end the relationship and suggest a friendship instead and it doesn’t make you a bad person, you don’t owe anyone anything but you owe it to yourself to trust your gut. I know how it feels when someone ticks all the other boxes but theres just one major point of disagreement, they’re a great person and you don’t want to hurt their feelings, at the end of the day you’re not responsible for anyones feelings so, do what feels best for you 🙂 good luck!
Did she wanna be the man in bed?
Are you guys sleeping together? That’s my first qu
What do you need advice on? You’re not into it, stop seeing her and find someone you are into.
So stop seeing her? What advice do you want lol just tell her you don’t see it working long term
She’s not the one. Trust your instincts. Don’t force it. Never ends well. And I’m sooooo curious what she wanted !!!
lol she wanted to dominate you and you caught controlling vibes. Maybe the reason you’re getting ick vibes is cause she’s putting on a front and you’re sensing a lack of genuineness
Yeah man, I think this is a place a lot of people mess up in dating. Box checking just opens the door. There are a lot of people in the world that are funny/smart/pretty/other-adjective, whatever.
If you can’t describe why you like someone without using simple adjectives, you probably don’t like em that much. We get hung up on someone being “perfect” and forget to consider **how they actually make us feel**. It ain’t gonna get better, might as well tell her now.
Sidenote for most of the people on this sub – so many folks here think that someone else simply checking boxes and existing is enough, and then get blindsided by rejection. Like, no way that person really made you feel special and then rejected you 2 days later.
She’s not the one. Trust your gut feeling
Trust your gut feeling. Stop dating her. Some people look good on paper, but if you’re feeling uncomfortable… trust that feeling.
Just end it!
Of course I’d you’re not interested you have every right to move on. That being said, “ick” doesn’t have to be the end.
Check your expectations
There are many theories why such phenomenon is happening, but people have been getting more and more unrealistic standards for dating. It’s common these days to expect perfection, hold people to impossible standards, and always have the feeling like they’re missing out on something better. Don’t lose a good person that you’ll look back on regretting without making sure your expectations are realistic and fair.
I understand that it can be difficult to make a decision in this situation, but if it were me, I would take a step back and evaluate whether or not this is a relationship you want to pursue. It sounds like you are not feeling a strong connection with her, and it is important to remember that your comfort and feelings should always come first. If you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with her, then it may be best to communicate that to her and end things on a positive note. If you do decide to continue seeing her, then it is important to communicate to her that the suggestion she made was not something you were comfortable with and that you would prefer to not have that type of conversation again. It is also important to make sure that you are setting boundaries and expressing your needs so that you can both be on the same page.
Just tell her you tried but don’t feel the chemistry and it is better to end things now.
You should already know. trust your gut. When you meet someone you truly like, and want, you and your body will miss her when apart.