I recently rejected someone but was told that I could have gone about it differently. I posted about it here and got some negative feedback about how I went about things. I want to know what I could have done differently and how to improve in the future in case I ever have to reject or break up with someone again.
I had just hooked up with a girl and I did not want to lead her on any more than that. I told her that I liked someone else, and I would like to be friends. I said this because due to how I know her, I will run into her a lot. we also have a lot of friends and acquaintances in common. I do not want her to make a scene or be angry with me. I want us to be civil. So that’s why I offered to be friends, even though I honestly don’t really want to be close friends. I just said that because it’s a thing you say.
her response was that it was ok, and we don’t need to be friends, which took me by surprise, but also indicated to me that she was unhappy. I wasn’t sure though, so I said “lol” in response to that. I wasn’t sure if she was kidding about not being friends. Then I asked her what she told her friend about our hookup.
I don’t want things to be bad between us. I just want everything to be happy. Any advice on what I said, and what to say will be greatly appreciated.
1 comment
Did you tell her your feelings over a call at least? Or in person? I think that’s the first thing you should include because I think, if it were to happen, almost everyone deserves a decent “rejection”. You’re allowed to not want to pursue further things with her, and she’s allowed to react to it. What’s interesting to me is that you offer to be friends even though it’s not a *genuine* interest but based on the idea that that’s “the right thing to do”. Maybe she sensed that you really didn’t want to be friends or she’s hurt and she needs some space to warm up to the idea of being friends or both or a mixture of the two. “Lol” is an awkward response though.