I’m in my 20’s, I want to know what is the realities of life of a man that we need to face and accept as early as much as possible? I want to know your insights….

37 comments

  3. There’s no limits

    I know this sounds weird but in reality there’s no limit to what you can do ,it’s just your efforts

    Like even for global warming you can very much fix everything it just depends on how far you’re willing to go

  4. Bad news is this: You’re going to fuck up. Sometimes it’ll be a little fuck up that nobody cares about, but every once in a while (a great while if you’re lucky), you’re going to have a big fuck up that’s going to cause problems, and you might even have a catastrophic fuck up or two in your life (more if you’re prone to making bad choices) that will permanently alter the direction of your life.

    ​

    Good news is this: If you pay attention, you’ll not repeat the fuck ups, and you’ll minimize the frequency of future fuck ups. The other good news is that if you pay attention, you’ll even benefit from these fuck ups and become somebody worth listening to one day when somebody asks you about the realities of life.

  5. Life is not fair at all. You must build a thicker skin and learn to not care, if you don’t have the control to change a situation stop thinking about it.

  6. When you’re at work, never complain down the chain or across, if you have a problem just take it to your boss.

    The people below you will get the wrong idea or perspective. And the people across already know and don’t care bc you’re complaining. Even if they agree plenty of ppl don’t want to be associated with that and your performance may or may not warrant sympathy.

    And if you do have an issue that you need to take to your supervisor, be polite, ask questions and give them the benefit of the doubt.

    I see a lot of younger people(in general) wait until a situation gets out of hand or untenable and then other have to deal with the problem. Be proactive even if you make mistakes that’s you learning. If you’re having trouble, ask for help, communicate.

  7. Whether it’s work, love, health, money, sports… Sometimes you’ll win, sometimes you’ll lose. Sometimes it will be your fault, and sometimes it won’t.

    Be cognizant of your privileges, be aware of your failings. No matter how much they might protest otherwise, everyone has some measure of both.

  9. Your group of friends consist of a bunch of absolutely idiots and by the time 30 comes around you might be lucky to have 1 or 2 friends left because you won’t have time anymore for the idiots

    Also you will fuck up….. massively, but that’s what you are supposed to do in your 20s

    Take chances again because you are in your 20s

  10. – life ain’t fair

    – beauty is a lot more important than ppl admit

    – as a man, you’re going to be treated relative to what you can do/offer/provide

    – money talks

    – your parents won’t be around for ever

    – frustrations are a huge part of life

    – having a college degree doesn’t guarantee you’re gonna make money

  11. The energy that you have when you are young is not the same energy that you’ll have when your old(er). But your young self can do things that will ensure that the old you doesn’t need as much energy…

    This doesn’t only apply to males…

  13. You can’t make everyone happy, learn to compromise, save, hard work and sacrifice do pay off eventually, times will and will again be tough, find a partner to grow with, buy gold/silver and guns

  15. Sometimes the truth is just boring. Where this hits hardest for me is in diet and fitness – consistency is key. There’s no magic tip or trick that will ever beat consistency.

    Elimination diets and fad diets are never long term solutions. Find something you can stick to long term and do it. Think about what foods you can add to your diet, not what foods you need to eliminate. Fiber is not useless, the food pyramid could probably be improved, but it’s definitely not a complete scam, cardio is important for long term wellness. BORING but true.

  16. You have a choice in who you date and marry. Society has always told you that she is the prize and you have to do whatever you have to in order to “win” the prize. That’s all complete bullshit. You don’t have to marry the first woman who is willing to marry you. Make sure you actually want to share your life with her and she wants to share her life with you – as partners, not as a prize and a prize-winner.

  17. Your status and role matter, and more importantly, your role. People will interact/react more positively if you are in a role that society deems respectable, such as a doctor, lawyer, engineer, etc. And vice-versa. Strive to make improvements every day, even if the improvements are incremental in nature. Also, don’t let a bad moment turn into a bad day and a bad day into a bad week and a bad week into a bad month, and so on. Don’t be quick to quit when things get difficult. Giving up is always an option and, most often, the easiest of our options. Anything worth it, will and should take time to build. And along the way, you will meet hurdles. Most of the time, what we are capable of is within us if we believe and apply ourselves.

  18. If you’re looking for love or hooking up chances are you won’t find it. If you work on yourself and have your own agenda that attracts people. Find hobbies and work on yourself both physically and mentally

  19. People are shittier than you expect. Most of those people you now call friends will disappoint you and drift away in not so long. People who talk to you after your 20s are all thieves or fraud or scam. All mails you get will just tell you pay the bill or invest on them or just buy something.

  22. No one is coming to save you. You are on your own. Hope is not a plan.

    Chase excellence, not women.

    You’ll be wrong, frequently, just be smart enough to realize it and change accordingly.

    Your brain won’t really work until you are about 30, maybe a little later (organically 26 to 28, but then you need a few years to figure out how to use it), so until then, go slow and be careful.

    You may only have a couple really good male friends, and you may not have met them yet, if they help you be a better, stronger, more capable man, keep ‘em. If not, you may have to leave them behind.

  23. If you’re fulfilling (or are on the right course to fulfilling it) you will fail, frequently. Remember that this isn’t because you’re dumb or bad at what you’re trying it’s because you’re being brave enough to try something you don’t know you can do and if you keep trying you absolutely will get there!

  24. Love does not always go the want you want it to, or think it will. There are many things you have absolutely zero control over. Come to peace with that.

  25. That it is chiefly important to be empathetic before anything else, before accountability, before righteous anger, and before moralism. Sympathy vs. Empathy being an important distinction, you do not need to always act out kindness or empathy, only that it’s always in your mind and decision making, since it is inevitably human to act out of biases we have cultivated or allowed to build up over time. A kind word born from empathy can avoid all kinds of calamity.

    That setting resonable expectations for people and situations will head off a pattern of frustration and anger at things you can’t possibly or begin to control.

    Work on processing and communicating thoughts and emotions effectively. Your thoughts and emotions are unknowable, only your words and actions are truly readable, no matter how insightful someone thinks they are. Presuming motives and history for people only leads to arrogance, so communication is a top tier skill.

    Lastly, the best thing anyone can give anyone else imo is consistency of character. You give others safety through stability. It gives them a dependable ally in a world where everyone has as much or more going on as you, and frees up space for you based on credibility.

  26. 1. Choices have consequences

    2. No one is coming to save you, so do it yourself

    3. The partner you choose will either drive you forward in life or hold you back

    4. Your “feelings” mean nothing. Just cuz you feel something does not change anything in the world

    5. Money = freedom. Build a financial plan and stick to it

    6. DO NOT HAVE KIDS with someone you are not going to be with long term AND matches your core values

    7. Learn to laugh at yourself. You are going to do lots of stupid stuff

  27. Advice is descriptive, not prescriptive. When people are giving you advice, it’s not a guarantee that it will happen to you, but it tells you a lot about how people see the world (applies to this thread)

  28. 1. Nobody should care more about you, than you – because they won’t. Regardless of what you have been told growing up, you are no more special than the next guy walking down the street. Nothing will be handed to you, so be prepared to stick up for yourself when you need to.
    2. Avoid a victim mentality, thinking stuff just happens to you. Yes, sometimes shit happens, but look at your life, see what you can do, what you can change, etc., and take that on. Decisions that you make, will have an impact on your future.
    3. Be careful who you talk to, and what you say. Weigh the pros and cons. If there isn’t an advantage to disclosing something to someone, I typically won’t voluntarily give up information. You never know who or when what you say will be used against you, or come back around at the wrong time.
    4. When you screw up, own it. This is a big one and will get you more respect from the people that matter. If you do it at work, then walking your boss through your thought process will typically get you a little more slack, and an explanation of why it wasn’t correct. Saying I screwed up because I thought X, Y, and Z, sounds a lot better than “I dunno.”
    5. Keep your emotions in check, even if it means swallowing your pride. There are significantly more negative consequences to letting your emotions get the better of you, than there are positive.
    6. Overall, life can be pretty easy if you don’t screw it up for yourself. Play to your strengths, and stay away from legal trouble, don’t have kids before you are ready, etc. and you can put yourself further ahead, without a lot of self imposed headaches.
    7. Nobody really knows what they are doing – they are making it up as they go along too. It is okay if you don’t know the path you want to take, but that doesn’t mean you have to stand still until you figure it out. Try new things, do things that will look good to others (like potential employers), etc., in the meantime. One thing that worked well for me, was watching people that were one, two, or three steps ahead of me in life, in positions that I wanted to be in. Sooner or later, you can pick out similarities of those that succeed, and those that fail, and that can help you on your path as well.

  29. Be accountable for your own shit, acknowledge and accept the consequences of all your actions, even the ones that don’t seem wrong. Your actions affect more than just you, and you are responsible for that.

    A BIG BIG ONE (definitely for male teens and younger 20 somethings)…. sex is great and all, but don’t let it drive you or your relationships. Conquer the monkey brain.

  31. 1. You need to plan for your future, because if you don’t it will almost certainly suck.
    2. Your plans will not survive contact with the enemy. There are so many enemies.
    3. You need to make plans anyway, because the alternative is worse.
    4. Do not make any of the following critical mistakes:
    1. Substance addiction;
    2. Gambling addiction;
    3. Unintentional pregnancy;
    4. Marrying/having kids with the wrong partner.
    5. There are so many other mistakes. But the ones above are the fastest, easiest, and most common way to throw it all away.
    6. Choosing the right partner is not easy, it should not be rushed, and it should be done on the understanding that no partner at all is far better to the wrong one.
    7. The right partner is not the hottest one, or the one that gives you the most butterflies. Love is essential, but it is not at all sufficient. The right partner is the one who wants the same things as you, who has the same general morals as you, and MOST IMPORTANTLY who you can trust implicitly because they are a fundamentally honest person. You might think that a person who is dishonest will be differing with you because they love you. You would be wrong.
    8. Loneliness kills men. We are social animals honed by hundreds of thousands of years of evolution to live in a tightly knit social/family group. That is what we are made for. The current world we have built is not natural. It is pretty great in many ways (our children live to adulthood!!), but it will not provide the essential social network that you need unless you make it happen. Having this social network is absolutely fundamental. It is more important than your career. It is more important than having a partner. You should arrange your life so that you have at least a dozen people that you love dearly, and whose company you are in on a regular basis. A single partner will NOT replace that, no matter how wonderful they are.
    9. Don’t watch tv news. It is a drug designed to feed you whatever anxieties are necessary to keep you watching. Read a book. Watch a documentary.
    10. You are only as good as your word. If people cannot trust you, then you are nothing but a burden to everyone around you. Don’t make promises unless you intend to keep them. Don’t betray people who trust you.
    11. Don’t piss on the toilet seat. We aren’t fucking animals.

  32. If you’re not going to the gym and adopting a body building routine and taking it seriously then I don’t want to hear any complaining that your dating life sucks

    If you’re tall and good looking and charismatic this doesn’t apply to you but for everyone else just man the fuck up and do it

  35. You’re never as smart as you think. I promise you, whatever you think you know will improve society or the world has been tried. Age with intellectual humility and always be learning.

    Life is deeply unfair, and no one is coming to save you. Have you ever literally stepped over a homeless person lying on the street? That could be you. There is no safety net.

    Being happy takes work. Finding pleasure is easy. True happiness takes time, reflection, experimentation, and discipline.

    Find a good woman (or man, if that’s your thing) who will be your partner in life and isn’t just attractive and fun. Those things are great, but plenty of men have been ruined by “hawt chix” they fell for hard and quickly.

    If people don’t like you and can’t stand to be around you (or find you off-putting or weird), you will have a hard time in life. Unless you have a PhD in something highly specialized (and lucrative) or you are born into wealth, you will have difficulty maintaining a career, a social circle, and all of the other stabilizing factors people want as adults.*

    *This one comes from experience. I’m introverted, I have oddball interests, and I am fairly misanthropic and blunt. It took me years to learn how to behave around normal people, how to make and take jokes, and how to put away my freak flag. Most people don’t find eccentric characters endearing. They find them weird and make fun of them when they aren’t around.

  36. 1.) Those who play stupid games, win stupid prizes

    2.) Those who don’t play stupid games, win nothing

  37. Sometimes you can do everything right, and still loose, it’s part of life, it’s just not always fair, just take a deep breath and start over, don’t waste time whining or blaming others

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like