Maybe someone has a few tips or advices.

43 comments

  2. Become familiar with the medication she takes and make sure she takes them. If you notice any significant changes in her mental state, take her to a hospital or call 911.

  3. I’m reading horrendous commentaries here.
    You can date a schizophrenic person – most of the people who suffer from schizophrenia are under medication and can live fulfilling and meaningful lives with light symptoms.
    You gotta make sure to understand that you’ll put yourself in a position which will require you to be supportive. Understand how she’s deals and lives with her condition, if there are still symptoms that are present (there are different degrees of symptoms) and how you can help. Learn more about the illness (positive, negative symptoms). Be understanding and aware.

  4. I suggest you don’t unless you like having to take care of her at your own emotional expense and mental health.

  5. What is wrong with the people commenting here? People with mental illness’ should just die alone? What the actual f*ck is this advice? I have an uncle who has schizophrenia, he is extremely kind and gentle. There are different types, not every single people who has this mental illness will experience the same symptoms. If you care about this person, educate yourself on schizophrenia and learn what this means for her. Remember, she’s a human being after all just like you and I, she’s just experiencing life in a different way. Certainly don’t rule her out just because of her diagnosis.

  6. Actual person with schizophrenia here. Get to know them. We’re real people with individual goals and desires. Albeit some of us have weird symptoms that can be managed well with medication. As you two date more, they’ll probably open up about what it’s like for them.

    For example, I have had zero symptoms for four years and have been 100% medication compliant for 10. Therapy and a low dose of antipsychotic are the primary ways I stay well. I also do a lot of mental health upkeep(journaling, meditation, exercise) because mental health isn’t mental illness, just like everyone has their own physical health (from the obese to the super fit), the same goes for mental health(Reddit trolls to monks)

    Treat them as a person, not their condition. Ignore 90% of the comments here that are hateful.

  8. Lots of mean comments in here. Yes, there will be some adjusting and learning on your end. If the person with schizophrenia is compliant with medications, doesn’t abuse drugs or alcohol, is fully aware that they have schizophrenia and isn’t in denial of their diagnosis – then they can, for the most part, lead a totally “normal” life. Do they appear to have their shit together? Or are they unable to work? I work in psych, and I’ve seen people have one episode but won’t have another for years. Others, who don’t take their meds consistently, are in and out of hospitals all of the time. It all depends on the person.

  9. There is nothing wrong with it. The stigma sadly associated with it really makes it hard for them date because most people think they are violent, irate out of control people. My brother has was diagnosed at 19 which is pretty commonly around the time symptoms start showing but after years and years of Psychiatrist visits and seeing specialist he was able to find a combination of medicine that has worked well with body and he is able to live completely normal life. Most people besides the ones that have known him a while even know he is schizophrenic. As for tangible advice…not sure how old the girl is you are dating but if she is younger and has just recently been diagnosed I would do your best to be very supportive and positive with helping her find avenues to help her manage what she is going through. Most important right off the bat is to get a great Therapist that specializes in this disease specifically. Don’t just go to any therapist, you want them to be able to relate and have sound advice on steps/methods of coping with this in her everyday life. Then the next step would be to find a medics or in most cases a cocktail of medics that works for her in long term. You will prob see mood swings and behavior changes while she is on new medicine so just be patient but supportive. Most of the phyc meds are downers so to counter that they will prob have her on some sort of upper as well to make it where you can still function throughout the day and not just stay in bed like zombie. There’s a million other things I can say but all just leave it this. If you like this girl a lot and end up seeing something long term, be patient, do your research and learn about it and support her without getting mad every time her mood shifts

  11. My stepdad is schizophrenic, gets meds administered once a week by needle. He’s relatively normal, maybe a bit more paranoid then the average person but he isn’t violent or evil or whatever else people think of when they think of a schizophrenic. He’s been with my mum for 13 years, was present throughout my childhood. Never did anything out the ordinary regarding me and has treated my mum with care.

  12. Stop dating her. She is going to create a lot of disruptions in your life. I have seen what dating a mentally unstable person can do to a normally healthy person. Man or woman someone with serious mental issues should be handled with care. They need a lot of care and most people can’t handle this.

  13. I think we need some more info here. Have you asked her what her experience of this illness is like? How it effects her? What support she might need in managing it? Is she receiving treatment?

  14. Do as much research into it as possible. Don’t “play along” in she is hearing or seeing things. Just be aware of her emotions from day to day. This doesn’t make her dangerous. Also don’t use it against her.

  17. I recently started dating a girl with it also. What helped me the most, was just reading and researching about what it actually is. I also sat down with her and had a long conversation about how it affects her, what type it is and all. You need to be patient and supportive, and itll be fine. As long as they are willing to / open / are getting help and treatment, its totally fine. If someone knowingly has it, and doesn’t try to do any self improvement, or continually does things (drugs etc) to make it worse, that’s when you’d want to avoid a relationship.

  18. Take your time to learn about it, be open and understanding and know that this person is a normal human too. Any kind of “diagnosis” is just that. It does not define that person.

    I’ve made friends with people who are diagnosed and they were wonderful people. They do have episodes but when you know them – you can tell something is different. Most people are medicated and this helps tremendously but sometimes people still have times where they behave differently but it’s really not a big deal.

    Hardest part for me was whether I go along with their stories or tell them it didn’t happen. Or what ever it might have been. I was wondered how I was suppose to reply.

    I think if you want a meaningful relationship take your time being open and understanding and compassionate towards your partner and make it a safe place for both of you.

  19. Hello OP, The only advice I can give you is treat her like how you treat every other person. She doesn’t need special accommodations because she’s mentally Ill. The fact you’re in a relationship with her means she’s good with interpersonal relationships. I have schizoid affective but mostly schizophrenia. The only difference is my moods can range to mania. I have lived with this serious mental illness for 40 years. I have also seen the worst cases with people living with schizophrenia but those individuals are much older and grew up in an era where psychiatric medications weren’t as great. But even In the worst cases I saw most who have schizophrenia are calm, gentle and kind. I saw these various conditions when I spent time In a mental hospital when I was in my 20s. If your girlfriend is getting treatment and taking medication she will be a wonderful partner to have. Those who are mentally ill are empathetic, creative, intelligent and sensitive people. What you see on the news about those mentally I’ll who do bad things are a rarity and it’s not because they are ill. It’s because inherently they are bad people. That’s why there’s a stigma. They just happen to have a mental illness. Think of it like she has diabetes and needs medication to keep it under control so she can live a healthy life. Best wishes and know there’s a lot of good information on schizophrenia out there to read. So you can be more knowledgeable to help give you an idea on what she’s going through.

  20. Hey, I don’t have skits but I picked up psychosis from my dad who suffers from schizophrenia. It’s unfortunately a really stigmatised disorder, and just because you have it doesn’t mean you’re automatically evil.

    Treat your SO as human, don’t play along when your gf is hallucinating, I’ve had a friend do this to me once and it just made me become more paranoid.

    Do your own research, look at the symptoms, statistics, what to do, causes, etc.

    And please please please talk to her!! Ask her if you need to help with anything while she’s experiencing psychotic episodes, understand her boundaries, and just be open to her requests.

  21. What you should worry about is that you could become the target of her irrational and unfounded paranoia.

  22. I don’t know much about schizophrenia. But I do have panic disorder, extreme OCD with weird compulsions, and PMDD. I get extremely paranoid about bad things happening, intrusive thoughts, random sobbing, and completely out of no where panic attacks in situations when my emotions should be normal and I have nothing to actually be anxious about. As well as anxiety and depression. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about four years as of the beginning of November this year. He is so helpful because he understands none of it is my fault. And he reminds me of that. And he is just there to hug me and love on me and tells me it’s going to be okay. We are in college and he is a chemistry major, in pursuit of hopefully being a doctor, so he has a very busy schedule. All of my mental health can definitely be weighing on him sometimes, especially with school, I know it must be hard to watch and feel responsible to help me. Especially when he has his own mental health difficulties.

    The only times we haven’t been good with my mental stuff is on a really bad night when I feel crazy and I start being snarky towards him. He knows I am panicky and not feeling in my right mind, so he takes it. But after, (this is important), he talks to me and tells me that even though I’m going through these things, it’s not okay to take it out on him, and he won’t take that all the time.

    He also sets boundaries. If he is feeling depressed and my own depression would just weigh him down more maybe he won’t let me come over a night. Because he knows if I was panicky it would send him over the edge. He advises me to talk to my roommate and I get help from them instead. So he takes nights to himself if he knows he can’t handle it. I think this is something really good for both of us. For awhile I was very codependent on him during panic attacks and I expected him to help me every-time. It was hard for me to learn, but that is a very unhealthy expectation. Although he tries to help me best he can every-time, he is not perfect, and he has hard days too. So learning that he is there to help me, but he can’t fix me every-time, helped our relationship a lot. That was terrible pressure I was putting on him, and also terrible pressure he would put on himself. Definitely not good for either of us.

    I guess my advice would be.. always be understanding. Have patience. Remind her you know it’s not her fault on bad days, and reassure her her intrusive thoughts are not real and she is safe. Be there to hold her, and ask her what she needs. However if you are being mistreated ever because of her disorder, or need a day off to yourself, say something. Set boundaries for yourself, although you want to be there for her always, you need to be there for yourself first. Your relationship will be better off if you are as honest as possible with her. It will be hard, but my boyfriend loves me very much and everyday we are learning to handle our mental health, symptoms, and new medications together. Because even though we have our bad days, we bring each-other a lot of joy and love. Good luck man. 🙂

  23. As long as she is proactive in her treatment, she will be able to function like a typical person. The red flag is if she were to think she was cured after being stable for so long or if she was denying her condition is taking over. If you are going to be invested in this relationship, educate yourself. Maybe see if there is a support group for friends of schizophrenic?

  24. Hey, woman with schizophrenia here. We are like anyone else, really, we just need a little extra help to get here. I manage my condition with a combo of medication, therapy, meditation, journaling, and support from my close friends and family. Obviously (going off many of the comments here, jesus), this condition isn’t very well-understood, so if you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask her about them! Trust me, she has heard it all, and will likely be ready to answer you openly and honestly, especially if she likes you.

    Feel free to DM me or ask me any questions here, if you want! I’m an open book. I encourage everyone here to educate themselves about the condition. We are all different, of course, but I cannot sincerely think of a single person I know who has this illness who is in any way violent or evil. Check out r/schizophrenia if you’d like, and feel free to post your questions there, as well. We’re a welcoming bunch.

  25. I have psychosis so I hope this advice helps.

    Do not continue dating her if she isn’t seeking professional help. Help her do reality checks with hallucinations. If she is having delusions do not confirm them or deny them instead just listen. Check in with her if she seems off: focus on has she eaten? Drank water? Slept?

    Be patient. If you had people whispering in your ears or yelling at you while holding a conversation you’d be distracted too. Repeat any words or questions she missed during the conversation.

    A big part of me getting treated for psychosis was getting professional help. I am currently on meds and stress causes hallucinations to increase still. It is not your job to fix this for her. If she needs help she needs to want help first.

  26. As someone who has a mental illness, it makes dating so difficult. Good on you for seeing her as a person, much respect. Supplement any info she gives with some research on her condition, keeping in mind you’ll find as many success stories as you’ll find horror. Know where to draw the line so you don’t become her caregiver. Focus on the relationship, don’t ever define her by her illness. Do everything in your power to nurture a healthy style of conflict resolution. If you fight, never use her illness against her or use it to devalue her points. Accept that sometimes things may be irrational. Within reason, laugh it off together and give her some grace.

  27. My best friend is diagnosed schizophrenic and that always comes with other mental diseases too. She got pregnant with twin and then married her spouse.. but her illness got a very big problem and the meds made her incapable to take care over the children properly, she was always tired and out of space when I visited them. Her spouse used to say that she’s DISABLED and stupid all the time and blamed her extremely because he had to take care over two crying babies. 2 years later they divorced and he got full custody over the twins. It went really bad. I would not recommend it if you plan a family .. they are 6 now .. and see her mother every weekend. But not when she’s in stationary therapy .. that also happens a lot.

  29. I would advise you to get to her very well before getting serious with her. Schizophrenia is a severe illness, and often times people get involved and don’t exactly know what they’re stepping into. Make sure it’s something you’re able to tolerate and be strong. They may need a lot of emotional support. They’re still people, and a lot of them are still great people. It’s just difficult. We all have our own struggles. I hope all goes well.

  31. My father was schizophrenia, and he had four kids. He did struggle with it, but he was a good father.

  32. I have a tip, DONT. Look, illnesses are what they are. This is not to shame them at all. However it’s hard dealing with that and it only gets worse with age. Some unlessbyoure an individual of top tier patience, kindness, understanding and are ready for possibly anything in life, don’t

  33. Hello! I have schizoaffective disorder (like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder combined) along with ADHD, anxiety, and sleep disorders, and I have a bf. Hopefully, I can give some okay advice. The first few points may be ones others have made but bear with me.

    – Treat your gf almost like anyone else. She is human, too, and schizophrenia does not inherently make you an evil or erratic person, or even all that difficult of a person to be with. She just has a disability is all. No one should patronize or stigmatize and demonize the disabled; we are humans. But yes, you may treat us as people who have an illness who may need to be approached and treated in a more considerate manner than others.

    – Don’t assume what she experiences. Schizophrenia is a spectrum. It is characterized by a variety of positive and negative symptoms (which you can look up), but that doesn’t mean she experiences all or any of them. For example, some people normally experience hallucinations and some people don’t. Some people experience less symptoms, no symptoms, or symptoms of lesser severity or frequency when medicated. It depends. Some people have more insight (acknowledgment that they are mentally ill or that their thoughts are psychotic) than others. Just ask her if she’s comfortable sharing her symptoms/experience and the names and effects of her medication, if she has any, and create a safe, non-judgmental space for her to talk about these things any time she wishes to.

    – Remember that psychotic thoughts are typically intrusive, so psychotic people really *don’t* want to have these potentially disturbing thoughts and *don’t* act on them. Also, if she has good insight, she usually will know that these thoughts are psychotic or “weird.” This can help you to be more non-judgemental.

    – If she’s losing insight or doing compulsions (schizophrenia can be similar to OCD at times), don’t play into her paranoia or delusions or compulsions. Try to briefly and easily dismiss the thoughts or hallucination, don’t dwell on it because that is giving reassurance, which, if you look “reassurance” up in regard to OCD, can be a bad thing. Encourage her to make an appointment with her psychiatrist to potentially change or up meds, and to make an appointment with an OCD-specialized therapist to work on the paranoid intrusive thoughts.

    – Encourage her to keep a mood diary to track her symptoms and become more aware of them. I really like The Daily Bean app. Also, encourage her to use a weekly pill case to make sure she takes her meds, if she has any.

    – Sometimes she just needs support and not solutions. Ask her what she wants- support or solutions- when she’s upset, and just comfort her physically, give hugs, if she wants support only.

    – When you are getting frustrated with her behavior, it is healthy to express this emotion of yours, but also remember to step back and recognize that her wonky sleeping patterns or paranoia or whatever symptoms cannot always be helped. Remember that her struggle to fix these issues she has is not an indication that she is not trying to fix them or that she doesn’t love you. Tell her your feelings, but tell her you are working through them on your end as well, that you are trying to recognize and accept her illness as part of her and part of your relationship, and that she doesn’t have to be the only one out here trying to fix everything about themselves.

    My bf has a hard time with that last one here. He struggles with getting frustrated with me. So, hopefully that advice helps.

  34. Watch the movie “Words on the Bathroom Wall” it’s a romance story about a schizophrenic kid that wants to be a chef, and it’s mainly about how supportive people make it easier for him to live. Might give you some insight as to how it’s like for her

  35. Me, personally, I would not. I dated one in the past and he was bipolar and schizophrenic… I met him while he worked as a stylist in Cali.. Twice. He took a 3 day train to Michigan to visit me for a total of 3 days.. Once he got here (with no clothes or luggage), he assumed he was going to move in with me and start a relationship with me. He looked for jobs in the fashion industry Michigan in hopes of starting a life here.. A day later, he took a shower and realized he wanted to be a personal trainer.. On the last day, he realized he wanted to go to the army. Instead of going back to Cali, he went to Texas to be with his mother.. I don’t hear from him for a few days. He then tells me his diagnosis… I didn’t have an issue with it & his actions & manic behavior started to make sense. I continued to talk to him for about a month.. He goes back to Cali… He tells me he was doing a photoshoot with some guy he met on Instagram… It was a completely nude photoshoot.. Mind you, this guy was not a model. Fast forward a few days, we were on the phone and he completely snapped on me and was being unnecessarily disrespectful. He accused me of a bunch of absurd things. I blocked him ever since. He and his friend made numerous attempts to contact me after the fact.

    Not to say he doesn’t deserve love, just not from me. I’m not willing to date someone that manic. That’s just my opinion & preference. It just was really hard for me to understand him, his thoughts, and actions.

  36. Tough question. I’d only date them If they were in theraphy and have the illness under control. I have a friend with BPD and saw how she acted in relationships through the years. It took years of theraphy for her to be able to handle her condition and maintain a healthy relationship.

  37. Understand some medications can cause some sedation and make her extremely exhausted.

  38. My mother has schizophrenia, are you sure about this?. If she’s on her meds it’s manageable but every now then there will me episodes where she’s not. That’s when it’s really a nightmare, this isn’t an easy commitment, you will need an incredible amount of patients and understanding to pull this off. If you still decide to then help her stay grounded by keeping her active and social, to much time alone in her head is no good. Do your best to be someone she can always trust.

  39. I certainly don’t think a person with mental illness doesn’t have a right to date someone. And if you really love somebody or are married to them, I guess you can hope for the best. But why would you start a relationship with somebody that has a very real risk of causing a lot of problems in your life.? I have a schizophrenic guy living on my property. He used to live in my house and I just couldn’t take it anymore, then he was homeless for a while and then I let him stay on my property to fix his car and I’ve just haven’t had the heart to get rid of him. I knew him long ago when he was okay. He ended up developing a lot of problems after a bad accident which I guess is one of the things that can bring it on. He got sent to the psychiatric hospital and put on meds and he was okay for a while. And meds can do a lot. But many caregivers struggle to keep them on meds because one of the symptoms is paranoia so the very thing that is helping them is something they think is unneeded and a threat to them .

    Sorry to say it, but I owe no duty to a schizophrenic person to convince someone else to date them, so I’m going to say I would seriously avoid it.

  40. Yeah dont date her, She needs mental help not romance. There is a big chance you would only make her condition worse.

  41. – Use people-first language; she is a person who has schizophrenia, not “a schizophrenic girl”.
    – Understand what schizophrenic means to her (everyone who has a diagnosis, experiences it differently)
    – Do research yourself about schizophrenia
    – Know that the person is not the disability, don’t see her as less than or incapable
    – Be a good person/friend/partner
    – Reach out to others if you need help with anything (I appreciate you posting this, to me it seems like you genuinely care about her)

  42. Maybe it’s an obvious dumb point but don’t ever say “schizo” around her or in general. We learned in class that can come off as pretty offensive even if you didn’t mean it in a bad sense

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