(26m) I had given up on relationships as a whole, but over the past year I’ve fallen for a family friend of mine I never really talked to her much in the past but are family’s have grown closer and even gon on vacation together I’ve tried just being a good friend but as time went on it became obvious I wanted more she realized this and has said she just wants to be friends and at first I was ok with that but I tried moving on had a few dates and for about a week she decided she might actually like me we almost hooked up one day and then she flopped and decided she didn’t anymore but even after that we still fell asleep on ft with each other every night and even talked about things guy/girl “friends” shouldn’t talk about it got to the point it was to much for me to stick around and hear about her relationships she knows how I feel about her I’ve tried just ignoring her but she ends up calling and I can’t help but answer everytime I’m not sure what I should do anymore because I want her in my life clearly but every time we try and be “friends” we end up hurting each other any advice would be appreciated I’m having a hard time just letting go
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She can’t make her mind up and finds it easier and more comforting to be in middle: not giving you what you want, but putting in enough effort to get comfort, sympathy and attention from you, who she knows will give it to you.
Do you know what you deserve? Someone who does know what they want, i.e. they want to be with you, and deserve to have your boundaries respected. Being friends is uncomfortable for you because you want more, and yet she doesn’t. If you pull away, she pushes and starts giving you what you want, and then when you come back and push more, she pulls away, reducing how much she gives you, leaving you in the middle unsure what to do with yourself.
What do you want here, as a guy who likes a girl, and what is she very clearly not giving you? And, again, I must ask, what do you deserve? Do you deserve someone who plays around with your feelings? I don’t say that as a personal attack against her; been in your situation, and it sucks absolute ass paste. Never again.