I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about six months now. We have a good sex life when it comes to frequency and trying out kinks and such. We both agreed that this is the best sex we’ve ever had and we’re happy with each other but I’ve recently come into an issue.
My bf has asked to give me oral in the past but I’ve always pushed it off because I have an outtie. I know men hate outties and they call it names and I hate my outtie too. Trust me I wish I had an innie but I don’t so I don’t want my bf to put his mouth on my area or be down there. I typically do whatever I can during sex so he doesn’t have to see my outtie and get disgusted. In the past when I pushed the oral idea off we would move onto something else but today he asked me why I don’t let him and I just told him I don’t like it. He wants me to give it a try with him but I don’t want him to not like me anymore.
Idk what to do because I want him to be sexually fulfilled but it’ll be a minute until I save enough money to get a labiaplasty (I’m a college student who works hard to make ends meet and currently trying to take out a loan for the surgery!) Advice?
35 comments
Shitty men judge your privates’ appearance, good men are just happy to be there. Obviously he’s seen it and touched it if you are doing other things, so he is aware and still asking to do it. Relax and have fun.
Believe me, lots of men just love ‘outties’, lots of women too. Please don’t be disgusted by your own body.
Do you know if your boyfriend doesn’t like your vulva? You may find that he loves it and can’t wait to give you pleasure. You need to give him a chance.
Any man, or woman, who refuses to engage with you because of the appearance of your vulva is probably not a good long-term prospect. But you need to learn to love it yourself first.
Not sure why you think men don’t like outies, but it’s not true. Women, like men, come in all shapes, sizes and colours and they are all good. It sounds like you two are having a lot of fun and he clearly knows your body, so I’m sure he’s all good with what you got.
Also, a lot of guys actually have a kink for “outies”, a lot of us think they are damn hot. Especially when it comes to oral.
Just lookup labia or bigclit on Reddit. Tons of outtie lovers. I’m a male and wouldn’t be against it or make rude comments, surgery should be a last resort for medical reasons and not cosmetic, so many times surgery’s go wrong with long lasting effects. Talk to your BF, I bet he already knows and is good with it.
I think you’ll find that most men do not, in fact, hate an outie. He’s obviously seen your vagina before and wants to go down on you so he’s clearly not put off by the appearance.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with an outtie, and no genitals look the same. Vulva come in all shapes and sizes, and nobody should feel ashamed because of their genitals’ appearance.
Your boyfriend asked to eat you. Your boyfriend knows your vagina. In other words, he doesn’t care and likes your parts😊
> My bf has asked to give me oral in the past but I’ve always pushed it off because I have an outtie. I know men hate outties and they call it names and I hate my outtie too.
Most men don’t care and it’s never occurred to them to care. Some men are aware and it’s because they like it, e.g. because it’s more to play with or looks good to them.
I don’t know where or why so many women have this idea. Is there a group of people trolling women with name-calling etc. to create insecurities somewhere?
When was this survey about outies conducted and why wasn’t I asked?
I’ll take an outie over an innie any day of the week.
Don’t sweat it, just relax and enjoy yourself.
He has sex with you. Do you think he hasn’t noticed you have an outtie?
Dude, my gf has an outie and she is the most beautiful pussy i have ever seen.
Where does it come from this thing that men hate outies?
My wife is an outtie and I suck on her labia like a broke prostitute trying to buy a condo. And she loves it
This is now my preference. It wasn’t before wife and she does has an outie. Now when we watch porn together I look for it stars with an outtie. I would pay to keep it as is.
If he’s asking I don’t think he cares if it’s an outie to be honest they all are the same when you pull them apart
You don’t know that men hate outties. Most of us could care less. Honestly, I like however the vagina attached to the person I like looks. You are going to have to work on accepting your body or your sex life will suffer greatly.
Talk to your man about your insecurity. If you would like to receive oral, let him know that you’ll need to take it slow. Maybe let him kiss your inner thighs while he fingers you and plays with your clit. Start by letting him see you from a little further away. Maybe bend over and let him see your hot ass and your pussy from behind. I can almost guarantee he will love it and find it very sexy.
When you are ready to give oral a try, pamper yourself beforehand. Maybe take a warm bath, do something that makes you feel sexy and fierce. Then when the two of you start playing, take it nice and slow, teasing each other, having him kiss you all over until you’re really aroused. Don’t just dive straight into the oral.
As a fellow outtie owner, who used to feel self conscious about my labia, I have never had a single complaint. Very few women have the ‘neat’ little porno innie that we’ve convinced ourselves is the ideal. There are entire subs dedicated to big flaps!
Maybe have a look at labia library. There’s so much variety, and to think men only like ONE TYPE of vulva is wildly untrue. Sure some people will have their preferences, but when you realise how vulvas look like that single ideal image that I’m sure you’re picturing, you’ve gotta wonder how anyone is getting laid!
https://www.labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/#
Maybe have a look at some subs that have people posting nudes and naughty pics.
I really hope you find a way to accept your vulva and experience all the pleasure and wonderful sensations it can experience! I promise you your vulva is beautiful just the way it is.
Trust me. He loves your outtie
I personally love outies. Not that I don’t like innies. I just prefer outies to innies.
What’s an outie?
Let his ass find out what that pussy abOUTTIE, it’s a vagina who doesn’t like vagina’s?
Girl I have one and my guy does not hesitate to munch that carpet with extreme enthusiasm. Please think about maybe therapy if it bothers you this much, I hope you realise that it really doesn’t matter as much as you think it does ❤️
52m. Never even heard of this. Never even thought to care when I was younger about what vaginas looked like. I was just happy to see them. I think this is a non issue and if it is. Those aren’t men you need to deal with.
Even when I used to watch basic porn on ph, most of them had “outties”. I’ve barely ever seen “innies” (these terms are so uncomfortable to me as a woman…)
I have uneven lips and they’re a bit stretched out because I had cellulitis and my coochie swole to the size of a tennis ball. It didn’t change the appearance too much, nobody else has noticed but of course I can see the difference myself.
Men love eating my pussy tho lmao. Both of my last exes weres virgins and kinda ehh on pussy visually and not super interested in eating out for their sake, they just wanted to please me. By the end of both relationships they would stare at my pussy and get hard, eat me out for 30 minutes, and the one even said he almost came many times from it. The feeling of your body as you enjoy yourself is far more attractive even if he did prefer “innies” (which, I doubt he cares. If he does he isn’t right for you anyway)
Wtf is an outie? Are you doing oral on your belly button?
I’ll tell you my story, without suggestions or judgment, take from it what you will.
I had a girlfriend who was absolutely gorgeous and owesone (with an innie, not that I cared too much). She had terrible insecurities about her body and it affected our sex life, which was great at the beginning. She didn’t want me to see her during sex, so total darkness, didn’t want me to touch her too much or play with her body, so I won’t feel her shape, obviously didn’t let me perform oral on her or shower together. And me? I tried to show her how beautiful she was, give her pleasure, worship her body. I felt rebuked at every turn. So, for me our intimacy was lacking and I felt the relationship was going nowhere, returned a certain ring to the store and broke up with her. She later tried to get me back, but that’s a story for another time.
If you trust this guy, let him show you how beautiful you are and give you amazing pleasure. It’ll do wonders for your intimacy and body image. Some men don’t like innies, their opinion doesn’t matter. Right now only the opinion of one man matters. Don’t insult his intelligence, he knows exactly what shape you are if you really had good sex. So if he wants to give you oral, touch you and worship your body – let him give you pleasure. Your relationship will only grow from that. Cast your body negativity aside.
The fact is here:
1. He’s seen you naked and knows what you look like down there. Even though you try and hide it. He knows.
2. He’s still asking to go down on you. He wants to please you and he doesn’t give a shit about your “outie”.
3. Men/other people you see making fun of “outies” are dumb and their opinions don’t matter.
FWIW, going down on an outie is a lot of fun!! More tissue to play with. I especially love it when the lips open to rveal the introitus. It looks like a flower blooming!!
So you had sex with him but he hasnt seen your vagina properly? How do you get wet? My girl cant get wet until i slobber up that pussy of hers.
How are yall having good sex if he hasnt even eaten you yet? Tf? Tell your insecurity to gtfo and see how it boost your sex life and confidence!
Jesus Christ your internalized misogyny is incredibly triggering. You have made some absolutely disgusting comments about outties. Honestly OP I feel both angry at you and pity for you. I am an outtie and I have had many partners that love my lips and gobble them the hell up. NO ONE has ever not fucked me because of it and only one person said anything and it was a trans woman with MASSIVE body dysmorphia issues.
Be kinder to yourself. You’re talking about mutilating your genitals in order to please the patriarchy. Sorry but it’s fucking true. You are spreading hate towards about 1/4 of the world population. Do what you want with your own body but at least accept it’s because of your own body dysmorphia. OUTTIES ARE SEXY
This is literally all in your head.
“All men hate outties”. Wtf is that? Did you just clump all men, every single man in the world, into one group? Have you asked them all? Your assumptions are absurd and 100% based in your own insecurity, and have absolutely no basis in reality.
You hate outties, leave “all men” out of this. This is about you.
He is really into you and wants to do it, so let him.
Also, get therapy before you let your own insecurities ruin your life.
Girl, you crazy! I prefer “outies” all day long. I love being able to play with them, they open like a flower when you’re aroused and they improve the oral experience imo.
My wife has an outlet and its one of the things I love most about her vagina. Don’t generalize men, just find one that likes you. Or at least ask first
Men do *not* hate outties. Everyone has preferences but as a general rule, what you said is simply not true. “Outties” are my favorite. Live your life. Let your bf go down on you
OP I think you should also take a step back and think about how other women with similar anatomy would feel reading this too? I assume that you wouldn’t want to shame anyone else with one but your post is very.. uncomfortable to read in a way especially considering how insistent you are that they’re “disgusting” in your replies. You should really look into some resources like other threads perhaps that show how beautiful outies are too!
You have a partner who wants to do things with you yet you’re worried about the Potential opinions of other men? Come on! I hope you can really overcome this. I know some things are easier said than done but
I hope you find peace with it. Oral can be amazing. You might enjoy it a lot once you get comfortable.