I become extremely awkward when someone apologises to me and usually say “no worries” but i understand that is not the correct response. I would like to understand how to respond when someone apologises to you in
1. In a professional setting
2. In an informal setting
When
1. You want to accept the apology, maintain good relationship but also let the other person know that you’d not want them to repeat behaviour
2. You want to let them know that their behavior/mistake was definitely not acceptable but if they are truly sorry for their mistake you accept the apology
3. It’s understandable mistake and no apology required but you would appreciate if the thing they were apologising for doesn’t happen again
11 comments
Say “Thank you”, it works in any setting.
I like, “I appreciate and accept your apology.”
A true apology comes with changed behavior, and I don’t feel like I need to explain to them that I don’t want it to happen again….most people recognize that if they have to apologize for an act, it wasn’t a good act.
So, they apologize and I accept. Maybe we can still be cool, maybe the apology just means we’re not adversaries, but the friendship is over..
Either way, if they repeat their actions, I cut them off.
Once is an isolated incident. Twice is a pattern of behavior. Thrice is a foundational element of their personality.
I run on two a two strike system.
Generally in life,
People are scared to directly and honestly communicate. Especially in critical/emotional moments when direct and honest communication is the most effective. Also remember that like 80% of communication is non verbal. Looking them in the eyes in a well poised position will do wonders in the ability to communicate.
Just tell people how you feel. Look them in the eyes and tell them.
If you want them to know that you were offended and that you’re accepting their apology. Say something like thank you, I was frustrated, but now I’m happy that we can move past this. I’m looking forward to building our relationship. Shake there hand afterwards and smile.
If you want them to know that you were offended and you’re not accepting their apology say something like. Thank you for apologizing, but I’m going to need time to get over this.
If you want them to know that it was no big deal tell them, Thank you, but seriously no big deal. Make sure to shake their hand and smile.
Effective communication is direct, honest, and composed. If you master that, life becomes a lot easier.
Read The Like Switch by Jack Shafer.
He’s an ex fbi agent who has a PhD in something cool.
If it’s a regular person, just say thank you or no problem or no worries or all good etc.
If it’s someone you hate and you know the apology is insincere, demand he actually kiss your ass like Vince McMahon’s kiss my ass club. Only then would his apology be truly sincere.
The problem is : mistake is fixed or not. And mistake is repeated or not.
We good man.
In a professional setting, I usually use something like,
1. “Thank you, I appreciate that.” (Pause, smile.) “We’re good.”
2. “Thank you. I appreciate that.” (Change subject.)
3. “Thank you. I appreciate that. Please don’t worry about it.”
I think saying you appreciate the apology tells them that it was necessary because behavior was harmful. Then how you move on tells them how serious the harm was.
In a personal relationship, with someone who has done real harm and is truly sorry, never underestimate the power of, “I forgive you,” and a hug. That, too, acknowledges real harm was done, but provides Relationship Repair 3000.
GOD DAMN RIGHT YOU’RE SORRY YOU PIECE OF SHIT LOSER FUCK
I don’t need an apology just fix the mistake and we’re sweet.
“Thanks for saying that”
Say Thank You.