Currently at around 300lbs. Really want to start losing the fat while also starting to build muscle. I’ve been struggling all year to get myself to do it. My issue is that I get anxiety of just thinking that others will perceive me as an idiot/fool for: A) being overweight B) being completely a noob and not knowing what to do once I’ve walked in into the gym.
I am hoping any of you have any advice. Thanks.
39 comments
As a person who goes every single day, no one cares what weight you are there
Look up a program for beginners on r/fitness and be consistent
Realistically, everyone who sees you there will think you’re doing something good for yourself.
The more you talk to people at the gym, you’ll learn a lot of them are actually pretty humble and insecure about their bodies in their own way. Especially the extremely fit ones, they are probably more insecure and obsessed with their bodies than you are in multiple just different ways.
But even more importantly, fuck everyone and what they think. You’re doing this for yourself and your health and that’s all that matters.
Just pull the trigger.
The gym is a place about personal improvement, each day the goal is to lift a little bit more and run a little bit faster then yesterday. There are going to be human slimeballs there, no hiding that fact, but fuck them, you aren’t going for them. Work with a PT or a friend who might have an idea on how to do things properly because it will save you in the long run
I imagine you’re being judged regardless if you go to the gym or not
But also nobody at the gym really gives a fuck
Most gyms offer some kind of free orientation. Sign up for one if you can, it’ll make it less intimidating since they’ll show you around and explain how the various equipment works. You might even take it a step further and consider paying for a few personal training sessions to help get things started.
Congratulations on your new health journey! Although I’m sure many will say that no one cares or is looking at you at the gym, it might not change how you feel so i think small steps might be best.
Maybe start with walking on the treadmill. This will give you an opportunity to be occupied and work towards your goals but also allows you to get a good feel for the gym and take a look around you to see what equipment is where, busiest times, and see for yourself that people aren’t watching other people’s workouts during their time there.
Another option is to bring a friend with you the first few times. Having that support should make you feel more comfortable.
Also, you aren’t the only one who has anxiety over these scenarios. Often we feel like the gym is for skinny, ripped people. MANY athletes used to be heavier or struggled with their weight, everyone starts somewhere and be proud that you are putting your health first.
I’ve lost over 100lbs. 80% of that was never going to a gym. Remember it is much easier not to eat 500 calories than to work it off. Start with your diet and go on a 2 mile walk ever day.
Weight loss is 90% diet and 10% working out.
Smaller weights and high reps to start. Look up high intensity interval training videos. Get a good warmup. Stretch. Light cardio to start a sweat then light weights. 3x per week.
Look up intermittent fasting plus keto diet. Follow it. Stop drinking and consuming sugar.
If you have the time and money, find a trainer and go see them a couple times a week or take classes. It’s a good way to break the ice and get into a consistent rhythm while learning.
Also no one really cares about your weight in the gym. You’re there. You made it. You’re putting in the work to better yourself. That’s what they see.
If you’re just going to go on your own hold yourself accountable. Start with light weights, ask questions to the gym workers or other guys there, BE CONSISTENT, have a workout plan in place and stick to it. You can add on more time in the gym, heavier weights, and grow in confidence because this all simply takes time to accomplish and you will get there. Also measure yourself around your chest, waist, bicep and quads. You will notice the inches going down and muscle forming.
Music and earbuds or headphones help a ton when I go to come out and focus on what I need to do for my workout.
You got this and remember you are there for you. People there are typically engrossed in their phones or zoning out as they workout as well.
If you are joinimg the gym this time of years, there are tons of newbies hitting the gym because of new years resolutions alongside you. Seriously, no one gives a fuck that you are 300 pounds. Everyone’s there to make themselves look better
An alternative to the gum is working out through YouTube. Whatever the type of workout, there is someone doing videp workouts to it
You’re trying to come up with an excuse to not workout. Nobody cares as much as you do about how you look at the gym. You’ve been in the internet too much. And even if we did live in a world where you’d be judged, why should that stop you from doing what you want? Thats a weak mindset my boi, the gym will fix it all so get on it.
I go to the the gym and let me say we don’t judge people there we welcome them
Nobody cares about you. Here’s the best thing about that: NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU. I know that sounds negative, but it isn’t. Every guy at the gym is wrapped up in their own thing. No one is noticing you at all. Unless you’re being a thoughtless douche not wiping down your equipment when you’re done with it, or hogging equipment, you’re golden. For someone to judge you, they’d have to notice you first. They won’t.
As long as you don’t go to planet fitness, you will be all right. People will either go on with their life or help you. Gym bros are pretty cool on that side.
The guys who have the best bodies CAN have the worst body dysmorphia. Everyone is therw to better themselves. So get there and be better. After a while it won’t feel like a chore and youll enjoy it.
How often do you think other people are noobs and judge them, do you then stop and point and laugh at them? That’s how often other people will do that to you, probability is close to zero.
I think in my head that everyone is anxious about looking goofy, and nobody is really paying attention to how goofy I am.
Believe me nobody is gonna make you feel bad about what you want to accomplish. You’re the only one getting in the way. Once you get out there and start you’ll feel more confident.
Stop giving any fucks about what people think, first of all. Then get your ass to the gym. The trainers there will show you how to use the equipment.
Go in with a plan and a program, and you’ll be too busy to worry about other people.
The only people judging you are the people with too much time on their hands – the ones who didn’t show up with a plan. This is just about the equivalent of being judged for turning in completed homework by people who didn’t do the assignment.
You will see very quickly that everyone is so focused on themselves that they really couldn’t give 2 shits about anyone else.
I can only encourage you to think about the mindset here:
“The public perception of myself in the gym is more important than getting the benefits of going to the gym.” If it is more important what people in (semi)public spaces think of you than you doing the things that will improve your life then there is something wrong. Because, sure, if people in the gym would actually be going to the gym to look at other people some might judge you, but they don’t have to live with your discontent for your current physique – only you are there 24/7 with yourself.
People will judge you at 300lbs far less than they would judge you at 120lbs. Being big is better, you already have something to build off of. Get in there and do it.
I had the same feelings, but opposite as I was super skinny. I used to train at midnight when the gym was pretty much empty. It got me by, once I started gaining muscle and strength, eventually I went during the day. I did felt watched and judged for a while for being weak, but eventually I wasn’t really that weak, then my lifts were quite impressive for a guy my size. Before I knew it, the girls in the gym were eyeing me and hovering around. The gym bros we’re talking to me about lifts, programming, etc. The evolution was amazing.
Remember that no one really cares, and most people are happy that you’re there trying to better yourself. You’ll meet some nice people that will try to help. There’s a few dicks, but that’s life. I remember this Chinese guy, over 30, clearly been training along time, laughing at me when I tried to do pull ups and could only do one. Saw him again when I was deadlifting 160kgs, he wasn’t laughing then.
I’d recommend cutting off your fat first before focusing on muscle, you can lose fat around 3x faster than you can build muscle. Still do your main lifts, squat, bench, deadlift, barbell row, overhead press, then curls and tricep extensions. Some rear delt work (face pulls) too. I’d recommend full body 2x a week to start, and cardio for an hour 2-4 days a week. Always give yourself a day off somewhere. You’ve got a ton of extra body fat so you can build muscle in a substantial calorie deficit, which you should be in.
And just stick with it. Don’t think of just doing a few months, or a year to get the body, that won’t happen. Approach it as if you intend to train for life. Push yourself, and soon enough you’ll fall in love with training just like me and so many others.
For resources, check out Natural Hypertrophy, Alex Leonidas, GVS, Steve Shaw. There’s others, but those are a good start. In general, stay away from channels over 1m subs other than Jeff Nippard, they’re all running some sort of grift. Don’t use gimmick workouts either. The basics work. Stick to them and get strong. Always push yourself. He’s a grifter, but coach Greg is right when he says train harder than last time.
Don’t buy any supplements or pre workout (coffee works fine), they’re scams for noobs who don’t know better. Don’t buy any programs, everything you need is online for free. It’s scummy that it’s so commonplace. Don’t get into pre workouts either, don’t need a stimulant addiction. And the gym is just the gym. It’s just a part of your routine. Don’t make it your identity like so many of these “influencers” do nowadays, have a life outside of it.
You’re not going to get better by not going is a good way to start thinking. Thats what I tell myself at least. It’s so easy to skip and find excuses but nothing will change in your life. If you’re happy with that, so be it but it will constantly Nag you. The sooner you do it, the faster you can take control of your life
Dude, just go. I’ve been lifting for 16 years and there’s still dickheads judging me and other people because we don’t lift exactly like they do.
People will always judge, you can be a professional athlete and someone will still think you ain’t shit.
Just go murder those weights, son.
No one cares about you.
Just do it. Everyone knows you’re fat everywhere you go anyway. At least you’d be at the gym trying to do something about it and that’s more than most can say.
Most people there won’t even care and are just focused on doing their own routine so they can leave anyway. You’ll get used to your routine too and won’t think anything of it. Hardest part is getting yourself to go consistently.
If it’s not an issue you could also get a personal trainer for like an hour to show you how to use the equipment.
Just go, no one cares about you. I’ll usually think,”Nice, keep going bro.”, especially when I see you going to the gym structurally.
Personally when i see someone overweight at the gym or running I’m impressed. Because i know that working out would be harder for them and they may have these anxious thoughts, but they’re just out there doing it and that shows strength of character.
I had the same problem. I overcame it by starting off with a personal trainer for a few weeks. Really helped me build confidence and a structure to my workouts. Made it feel less overwhelming when I know the “proper form” for my exercises too. It helped to have someone who gave me encouragement and support every week while I found my feet there.
People care way more about etiquette than they do about how fit you are. Skinny or fat, fit or soft, just don’t be a dick and you’ll fit right in.
I know personally that after a lifetime spent in the gym, when I see someone extremely overweight, my very first thought is “Good for them, they got their fat ass off the couch.”
Come join the sweat party!
Edit: I just thought of a good example. I remember going to a gym in LA with a lot of beautiful people. Literally models and actors. One lady in particular was a world class knockout. And everyone detested her. Never actually worked out, hogged equipment while she talked (loudly) on her phone, took tons of selfies and watched herself in the mirror when she wasn’t on her phone. One hundred percent, I would have welcomed working out next to an overweight newbie much more than next to her.
You should start by losing weight at home by lifting light weights and doing beginners yoga and eating a sensible diet and you can go to the gym when you’re ready
Honestly I appriciate it when I see overweight people in the gym. It takes courage and it shows that they want to do self improvement.
Anyone who judges you can go fuck themselves. Don’t worry about what they think.
Advice: Get yourself a male personal trainer that is ripped AF. He will show you how to use all the equipment and no one would dare bat an eye at you.
People go to the gym to improve themselves or keep a healthy life style.
I mean you ain’t hanging around those people after the gym anyway and most of them have their own life to worry about than some random gym goer. The majority of LA fitness people are regular people have their own lives to care. Some may be insecure and want to mansplain you but you should learn to ignore it.
> being completely a noob and not knowing what to do once I’ve walked in into the gym.
If you got the money hire a trainer and get them to get your a routine going.
Like Monday are for leg days, Tuesday is back day, etc…
If you really want to go to the gym and do weight and stuff you need to research (youtube).
Bare minimum squat, deadlift, and bench. I’d throw in over head press. Any exercises that involve back you should youtube and research it cause a fuck up back is a life time of pain killer.
A lot of us followed this guy (heavier than you) and found his will and determination inspiring https://youtu.be/iz9nsEjSS1o There will be people who judge you, but they are everywhere anyway. Most people in the gym have some sense of what it takes to get and make yourself exercise and feel kinship with anyone else who does. Best of luck.
Go, people dont care.
Honestly no one when will care. They are focused on their own workout
Bro seriously nobody is going to care. If they’re looking at you they’re thinking either “nice, good for them” or are checking if the equipment you’re on is free.
I’m an in shape guy and stronger than almost everyone at my gym, I go a lot and have trained with loads of people. I have never met anyone who judges somebody for lifting light weights etc, we might poke fun at our training partner for doing a few KG less than us or something but that’s a joke between friends and never serious. The only time I’ve seen anyone care about weight lifted in a gym is when it’s something impressive E.G. a 4+ plate bench. Nobody is wasting time to look over and go “hahaha look that guy is struggling with 10s”
I will say start before January because it always fucking sucks. There will be about 4x the amount of people there, there normally are every other month before they all quit their resolution 3 weeks in. Get the habit started now before the crowding dissuades you.
Masterbate to establish dominance preferably near the squat rack.
the 300lb guy at the gym gets more respect than the loud mouth ripped guy who wont stop trying to talk to people