Anyone else? I still think about him sometimes when I masturbate… I cum and burst into tears. I miss him so fucking much… especially around this time of year. He was the best sex I’ve ever had and will ever have. We used to just sit there and stare at each other… without breaking eye contact. It was so intimate and trippy. I’ve never done that with anyone else. Why does the world suck so much?
16 comments
I don’t know why the world sucks so much… I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand because I feel like that’s the only comfort after such significant loss I can relate to and feel. My husband died 7 months ago tomorrow. I just wanted to chime in and tell you that it’s okay, and it’s normal. There’s a lot of things in grief that is normal. Everything while grieving is normal, and grieving takes time.
Honestly crying in that way, is truly a part of grief and truly one way that your emotions come to the surface. Because you cannot stuff down your emotions you have to feel them as they come, sit with them for as long as you need to and then process them so whatever emotion comes out whether it’s tears sadness anger, uncontrollable laughter for reasons that only makes sense to you. Whatever emotions come up to the surface just feel them and let them Express however they choose to.
It’s okay, and it’s normal. It really is okay, and it really is normal. Hugs to you!❤️
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this. Your grieving and still love him. Time will heal and make things better
i am so fucking sorry for your loss!
I’m so sorry for your loss. What you are going through is completely normal. He was your partner and thinking about your partner during masturbation is normal. I believe you are crying because in the heat of the moment it feels like you are intimate with him again, after finishing you realize he is gone forever. My heart goes to you, grieving is a process and you’ll go through this and one day it will be the sweetest memory.
My daughter and i lost her mother in an accident. It took me well over a year to have sex with anyone. Now when i do I close my eyes and see her. And even though i still hurt when i imagine her i am at peace. I will probably stay single for the rest of my life. Im attractive, successful and charismatic. I have no problems getting opportunities to be in a relationship. Though Im content just having fwb’s and projecting my lost love in the woman in bed with me. In those moments i feel im with her again. As i type this it sounds worse than it actually is. Im healthy in mind and body. My daughter is with no bias the most beautiful girl ive ever seen and so happy and healthy. Life is not as whole now, but we have made the best of it. I’m so sorry for your loss. As time goes on it will become less heavy on you. Always keep their memory close, but make sure you keep your life moving forward as well.
It sounds like this is helping you release your emotions about your devastating loss of someone you deeply loved and desired.
Are you able to talk to anyone IRL about how you feel? A family member, friend or therapist? It’s important not be isolated when we are in such pain.
Why don’t you divorce your husband since you’re not satisfied with your sex life and think about your ex like this? You two are obviously not compatible. Give him a chance to find someone who is a 100% into him.
I think you may need to talk to a therapist instead of Reddit.
First of all, I am very sorry for your loss.
If you have built a deep connection, it is completely normal. The feelings don’t just go away. But you shouldn’t look at it only negatively. Yes, it’s hard, I know. But when the moment comes where you want to cry, don’t you feel him, maybe you even smell him. That’s what he left you and only you. Cry, crying frees and heals you, but also enjoy the moment, the memories, the closeness. Take the moment in your arms, breathe it in, think of the one who has gone and hold him tight.
And you will feel that he is always with you. ❤️
I had a very good friend day ten years ago with the anniversary of his death being the beginning of December… He had a very serious girlfriend who he was planning on marrying someday. She was absolutely devastated by his death and your post made me think of her. She has moved on now and is actually married to someone else now. It has been ten years after all. I didn’t really think much of it but I can easily see that intimacy and sex, even masturbation would have been so difficult for her. I am so sorry for your loss; I don’t have any advice but your post connects with me in a weird way. I hope things get better for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you discover peace. Sending love.
The ex that I had great sexual connection didn’t die, but became schizophrenic of sorts (esquizoaffective), then broke up with me during a psychotic break. I remember talking to her 5 years later, we even started a relationship again. But her mind was so gone, her behavior so unhinged, that I cried a lot, I finally realized it was over, she would never act normal again and that I couldn’t help her. Then we broke up again, and her psychiatrist told me to avoid any contact from then on. It was a strange limbo, where she still exists, but not the old her, the one I fell in love with. Nowadays I don’t think about her anymore, but for a while it was similar to what is happening to you. I thought about her when I masturbated, then I got sad because I lost her, although I didn’t cry once I was away from her.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t think there is anything wrong with you still thinking about him when you masturbate. But if it makes you feel like shit every time then maybe try to get an erotic book or even movie to help you cum without ending up in tears.
yep I sometimes think about my dead ex when cumming, he just pops right in there. it’s normal and I don’t necessarily know how to help, I don’t know when your ex died but mine died July last year and definitely for the first 6 months this would always happen, now a year and a half later this happens maybe like every 3rd wank or so? so it’s definitely getting better. it just takes time dear.
It will never go away, just try to find a new thing to get into slowly you’ll get better. You will it may take awhile though.
I feel extreme remorse for your current husband. You married him without moving on from your grief, and now you’re actively trying to sabotage your relationship by cheating on him.
Let him go. And don’t enter another committed relationship until you’ve healed and moved on. You can’t imagine the irreversible mental and emotional torment you’ll put him through if he ever finds out you’re betraying him.