PLEASE HELP – I HAVE ASPERGERS AND STRIGGLE WITH SOCIAL INTERPRETATION
I was feeling a little down about two weeks ago and sent a friend a message on messenger along the lines of ‘I’m sorry if you hate me now’. The reason I sent this (possibly augmented by feeling quite down on that day) was that I felt somewhat sad that she ‘hated’ me as she didn’t respond to the last few messages I sent to her on messenger. She replied to my initial message saying that she was ‘just busy’ and said ‘don’t be so dramatic’ before congratulating me on a recent achievement which I shared with her in a message I sent to her a few months ago.
Anyway, I responded to that and her latest response was as below (some names have been taken out and replaced with ‘______’)
“Look _____, we are bow at the age if young professional. To be honest i use social media less and less. Whatsapp is your best option to contact me. Without facebook i take a quick look and usually forget about replying….e.g. You 😉
I am pretty sure ______ will assure you in a similar way. Why would you get upset? are you in a rough spot?
I am at the end of my phd and have to write the thesis and apply for jobs so I am a little busy.
What are you doing now anyway?“
I was just wanted to ask (as I am terrible with messenger and written messages), where she starts ‘Look’ and then my name, is this her being angry at me or is she still a friend?
I have written the following response to her, which intend to send on WhatsApp. Is this okay to send? If she was angry at me I don’t want to make her more angry and I don’t want to lose the friendship…
“Sorry about the messages the few weeks ago. I just over think things. Just had a bit of a down day that day. Good luck with your thesis, take care and I’ll catch up with you soon. X”
Tl;dr – Is this an okay message to send onWhatsApp, and do you think that she is still my friend? Do you think that they care about me (as a friend) or do they hate me now? Would you say that this person is a ‘friend for life’?
3 comments
It’s perfect, except perhaps a little dismissive and too polite so doesn’t indicate you want a more active friendship- which I’m assuming you do. At least you can say you are very respectful though which is nice in this day and age.
Tom, you’ve been posting this for years. What answer would you accept?
You’ve been asking this for awhile now. They certainly have been putting up with you for a long time despite your insistence that they don’t want to be friends with you, so I think they are you friend for life. Stop using passive agressive statements like “I’m sorry if you hate me now”. That makes people sad to hear.