Throwaway account because I am pretty embarrassed. Excuse my English its not my first language.Here is a little background, I 21(F) used to very sexual. A few months ago my now ex bf cheated on me with my best friend. I trusted them both so much so I suggested a threesome. (Also one of my biggest fantasy)We did it and everything went great until I found out that they had sex behind my back a month after.I am still trying to heal but I don’t understand why every time i try to masturbate I burst into tears. It happened once when I saw a threesome video and it made me feel stupid. Or I randomly remember my ex boyfriend mid masturbation. I feel pathetic and I am trying really hard to be comfortable sexually again but I can’t.
4 comments
Oh I am very sorry and don’t feel stupid. That was a very traumatic thing to experience. I think it’s just going to take time for you to heal from that pain. Be patient and loving with yourself…and I’m not talking just about sex, just in general. Know that you have worth and you will find someone one day who can make you feel good. In the meantime seek help and other resources to help you process this breakup. Sending you love!
Time will help heal this but also you should get some professional help. Therapy can help you move past this a ton.
It really just takes the time it takes to recover. You gotta grieve. Maybe no sex/masturbation for a while and engage in other aspects of your self. What activities do you like to do? What are things that make you happy outside of other people/intimacy? Now is a really good time for you to explore you. Once you feel more comfortable as a being, I bet your sexual pleasure will be easier to access. Be gentle with yourself for a good long while. It’ll get better.
This should be mandatory reading for the tentative couples wanting to try a threesome. Unfortunately I have heard this same scenario too many times. My wife and I know a couple that actually switched spouses after a threesome. One couple started cheating with each other almost immediately after the first encounter. The spouses that were cheated on also ended up with each other as well, more by default than an actual desire to be with each other. This is one fantasy that both partners need to be 100% ok with before engaging in. I am very sorry you are going through this and your subsequent behaviour (crying) is completely normal. The only way to move on from this is to meet someone else that you connect with then let time heal you. Unfortunately sex is now linked to the betrayal you experienced. A therapist would also be helpful in having you move past this. I wish you the best!