what keeps you loving your wife?

19 comments

1. My wife and I practice a relationship based on service to the other. My happiness is directly dependent on her happiness and vice verse.

   We talk, we make love, we make plans and we slay the dragons of life as a team.

   We’ve been doing it this way for more than 20 years and I see no reason to change.

2. Well, mostly the fact that she’s awesome. We have ten years of history together and she’s the only person who gets me.

   But secondary to that – we have a mortgage. We have a kid. I’d have to completely implode my own life and fuck up my own child’s future. And for what? Just, someone slightly younger? Not gonna happen.

3. That’s not a question with a singular answer.

   What I can say is, after 31 years together (28 married) – I still love my wife.

   Do we fight? Have my looks, body, whatever – changed? Have hers?
   Yes – but that is life.

   There are a ton of other questions that are far more important to me that also get a Yes.

   Is she still as witty and intelligent (if not more so) as she was when I met her? Do we have a great family and kids we both adore that we wouldn’t have were we not together? Has she helped me grow to be a better person? Do I make her a better person? Is she a great companion and a killer road trip partner? Do we laugh together the way we always have? Does she put up with my everyday bullshit the same way I put up with hers? All of these – Yes.

   I suppose my point it – we all have hang-ups, anxieties, issues. If you are together (married or not) for the right reasons and you truly mean something to one another – – – – you have let go and trust that you are both putting in the real deal effort to travel the path together.

   *edit – spelling

4. Balls empty, belly full.

5. The shared experiences, good and bad, seeing each other at our best and at our worst, knowing no matter what, they are going to be there. We treat each other with mutual respect, as equals, and value each other. We look out for one another, and take on things that we are each better at, so the other doesn’t have to struggle. When one person is stressed, the other takes over. Nobody is on a pedestal, and nobody is talked down to. There are no trust issues, second guessing, jealousy, or resentment.

   The short of it, is that we try to be a positive addition to each others’ lives. Doing that, while not adding to problems or stress, make it easy to want to be with that person.

6. Because she is selfless and loves me like a 10th grader…….!🤘

7. It’s a choice you make every day.

8. Blowjobs

9. Her body and respect to me

10. Love is a decision, it first starts out as a chemical reaction. Then it’s up to the person to decide they still love that person. When they don’t that is when you hear***I fell out of love***.

11. Your worry and fear are valid feelings. They are also poison.

    Successful relationships are those you work on in the good and bad times. In the good times you explore and communicate your insecurities and in the bad times you’re reacting to them.

    I recommend a couples counselor to guide you and your husband through talking. I can guarantee he has fears that trouble him just as much. Getting them out in the open with love and compassion is the best way to stay married. More love to you.

    Source: On my second marriage and tried counseling when everything was great but we could both feel fears brewing beneath the surface. Learning each other’s flaws and how best to nurture and communicate with one another is a game changer.

    Edit to clarify: His worries and fears are also both valid and poisonous. This isn’t a “you” problem. It’s just part of being a human trying desperately to love and trust another human.

12. You do realize there is no one answer. If you get 10,000 responses, you’re gonna get 10,000 different answers.

    We’ve all seen that “Marriage is a 50/50 proposition”, bullshit! Marriage is a 100% proposition. It takes BOTH of you giving 100% each and every day. What keeps me loving my wife? Knowing that she’s doing everything she can to make our marriage work. What keeps her loving me? SHE knows I’m doing everything I can to make our marriage work. We support each other in everything. We sit down and discuss everything as it affects our family. The biggest factor is our faith in God. The list goes on and on.

13. 41 years and counting.

    There’s lots of good advice about share values and goals, but here’s my simple advice:

    Don’t marry until you have established your clear sexual compatibility, life goals, and how you plan on handling money.

    Whenever possible go to bed together and get up together. And sleep naked.

14. I have nothing to hide because I trust her to handle me.

    So there’s no reason to leave.

15. Happy and excited to see me when i come home, Sits in my lap during movies, Cuddles, makes me my favorite foods, Strong Sexual desire.

16. My wife is my best friend. Really, she is. We love and respect each other, we make compromises and have built a life together. The best parts of our lives have each other in it.

    I could easily walk out tomorrow and bang some young smoking hot women who would gladly take my wife’s place; but I don’t because they are not what I want. Just as my (hot) wife could go to any local bar and find some dude to bang her, but she doesn’t because that is not what she wants.

    that said, I do have some bad news. You have the “especially if you are younger” part wrong. Generally speaking, it is easier for women to find someone “better” when they are younger (21-30), but for men, it is the opposite. They become a lot more attractive to more women as they get a bit older, A successful man in in mid-30’s to mid-50’s will have a much easier time finding that “younger/better” woman than a man in his mid to late 20’s. This is whey when men get divorced, they generally have a lot easier time dating / getting remarried, and the girl friends / second wife is generally a lot younger and hotter than the first.

    Basically, the longer you are married, the more you have to worry about.

    Here are some tips for you both:

    ​

    * Never let yourself go. Continue to watch what you eat, work out, and work hard on your physical and mental health. (AKA, don’t get fat)
    * Keep your sex life alive and well, work on it, focus on it, make time for it, give your spouse what they want, and ask for what you want.
    * Having kids is never an excuse to let yourself go, let sex lives fade, or not to focus on each other and your marriage.
    * Listen to each other and focus on being the partner your spouse needs right now. Trust that they will do the same for you when you need it.
    * Say what you mean and mean what you say. Never play stupid games, lie, or be dishonest with each other.
    * Never get mad at your spouse for being honest with you, even if it isn’t what you want to hear.
    * fight fair, be prepared to be wrong, be prepared to accept your own faults, and be prepared to work on them.
    * Always remember that what may be important to you may not be important to your spouse and respect that.
    * Draw hard boundaries around friendships with people of the opposite sex, never put yourself in a compromising situation.
    * Don’t disrespect your spouse, don’t complain about your spouse to other people or make issues in your marriage public.
    * Never say or do anything without your spouse present that you wouldn’t say or do if they were present. That includes talking/texting/DMs, etc.
    * Have a shared password on your phones and social accounts. (You both use the same passwords), No secrets. there should never be anything on there that you don’t want to your spouse to see.
    * Perhaps a bit more controversial, Get the fuck off social media. Nothing good comes from it.

17. If its a long marriage (over 5 yrs)

    Make sure you still have sex.!!!!

    Whst happens if you dont take care you just become flatmates. You gotta try keep the intamcy going

18. A guy in love will often always see the girl he fell in love with every time he looks at his wife. History and the journey are important to us and you will always be that woman to us.

    Guys often bond less if they meet you later in life for the same reason.

    I’m currently single and I’ve stopped dating. Wanna know who I am the most sentimental toward? It isn’t my last girlfriend…. It is my first. I would rather spend a night staying up and talking with her about what we did in high school than spend time with my last girlfriend for any reason.

    I’m 46 years old… But my high school girlfriend will always be the woman I took to prom in 1995 no matter how many wrinkles she gets and how much weight she gains.

19. The trying.

    I have to do much of the things because of her health. Work, cook, clean. Resentment would be easy for most I think. But she tries. She fights, does everything her doctors say. She does what she can to not make things harder for me. Little things like clothes in the hamper or dishes in the washer, mostly, but when she can, she overdoes it trying to lessen the load for me. She tells me how she appreciates all I do. I appreciate that as hard as things are, her suffering is worse to experience than to see, and that she fights on and does what she can.

    A lot of love is in the trying.