OK the title is a bit misleading it wasn’t the first time l (25M) got catfished. The first time it wasn’t a super dramatic difference between the profile and the person so I was hardly a big difference. This occasion I got catfished hard. I matched with this girl on Hinge we seemed to hit it off alright and agreed to meet for a drink.
When she showed up she was well….. a lot bigger then what her profile showed. The pictures in the profile were of her but they were clearly old. Before you come at me with torches and pitchforks, I have nothing against fat people I myself used to be a on the heavier side and after some major lifestyle changes I went from 302 lbs to 215 lbs and i have several bigger friends . And I’m not inherently against dating women who would be considered on the “thicker” or “curvy” side (my last girlfriend was one such person). But I was not attracted to this particular girl.
The biggest turn off is that she so blatantly lied about her appearance on her profile. I considered pretending to go to the bathroom and leaving, I’m not gonna lie. But I’m not a heartless monster so I put a fake smile had a couple beers and then made some bullshit excuse about meeting my sister for dinner. We parted ways and I called up my buddies told them what happened and we got together and proceeded to get wasted. My buds told me that it happened to all of them at some point and not to dwell on it. I was a little mopey because I felt like I wasted my time and all I got was an enormous hangover.
This is not a “woe is me post” more of a “haha funny that’s embarrassing” post. But I do want to make some points.
1. I know more than most people how cruel online dating can be when you’re overweight or obese. When lost my weight it made me genuinely sad how much better people treated me. It’s tempting to use very old photos because there’s always that slim hope that your personality can win them over. I’ve done some variation of that when I was big. But it never happened and my photos were somewhat current
2. Blatantly lying on your appearance won’t get you anywhere. I’m of the opinion that it’s OK to lie a little on your profile as long as the difference isn’t dramatic. But if there’s a big difference between who u present online and who you are un real life. You’re not being honest with yourself and the person your talking to and the fact that you lied is gonna be a massive turn off.
Hope you found some joy in my tale. I think it’s funny now but also imma quit dating for a few months and do other things that make me happy.
5 comments
Sounds like you need therapy, getting wasted is not a healthy way to deal with the aftermath of a bad date.
I hate the ones who throw it back in your face, that you only ‘care about looks.’ Well, yes, I care about looks. But I care MORE about the dishonesty. If you lie about your weight, who know what else you’re not telling me about (STDs, debts, crazy ex, children, etc).
Back when tinder was new I met up with this girl for a date. 5’1 maybe 90lbs with fake boobs and her pics were all very blatantly a woman…
She called it early cuz she had to go to the docs early. Me being an empath asked if she was okay…
“Oh yea just getting a consult to finish my transition”
i had an experience like that once, i thought, ok I look more fit on my photos too, but the really red flag was that after the date, i knew nothing about her, she did not tell one thing about her. She was very introverted and very shy, we never met again.
I’ve been “catfished” before too. Matched with a girl who was pretty. I missed a couple signs in a few of the photos, but they definitely weren’t recent and the ones she posted were very clever. Before the date, we only messaged on hinge, I gave her my number and snap and she said she doesn’t text before the date. So I got no photos or texting in we only talked on the app. I was pretty disappointed when I showed up. Made my way through the date, was cordial, paid and left. Honestly the next person that doesn’t want to text before the date I’ll probably pass. It’s not worth it.