I am turning 36 in a week. I suffered anxiety and depression my whole life. Battled it with medication, therapy, excercise… you name it. (currently only in therapy, ocasionally medicating myself with benzos, when my anxiety boils over, 3-4 times a month. I know it’s bad, but you have to feel the way I feel when i decide to take them. Hell. Benzos are my last resort)

Somehow I am not still winning it. And recently I noticed that my focus and ability to learn things is terribly off.

I don’t’ feel that moment of flow anymore. Like it used to be. Learning something new, would be easy and etc. Even having hard time concentrating when reading.

Tried getting into coding, and despite me being extra tech savy, I feel my brain is rusty and I am having hard time learning new things.

Is this it? Is it over?

4 comments

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  2. Yep. It’s a thing. I’m in Jiu Jitsu right now and I swear in my younger years I’d be all over this and retaining. It’s harder to learn new things as we get older. It’s not comprehension as far as I can tell. All that is firing. I feel it’s more retention and application.

    Or maybe our heads are just too full of experience and other things and there’s only so much room up there. I don’t know. But i wouldn’t say it’s because of mental illness.

    And sorry for what you’re going thru. I have no personal experience with mental illness. I’ve been really sad before on multiple occasions, but not to the point where I’d say i couldn’t function and be productive.

  3. I would suggest getting a blood test. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if you have a thyroid issue. I’m 36m and I may as well have written this myself 2 years ago

  4. I’m 42 and started a new career last year with a lot of new applications and techniques of what I would call “previous knowledge,” i.e. you’ve done this, now do this with it, etc.

    I will say it comes slower, for sure, but it’s not over, it’s just a matter of being dedicated and diligent enough to not give up when it doesn’t come easy. The frustration is what leads people to stop learning and trying.

    It’s okay to admit that you didn’t get it the first time, or need to try again. It’s okay to find new paths to the same goal, even if it takes a few extra steps. Maybe you need to take more notes, or take each step a little slower, but it can be done.

    Don’t be impatient and don’t get in your own way.

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