Partner doesn’t want to give me a christmas gift

My (22 F) partner (24 F) of seven months recently moved across the country for work, and they weren’t able to get time off to visit home for the holidays. I was able to find a sublease and a temp job in their city, so I decided to spend Thanksgiving-New Years in their new city. This means both of us are away from family and in an unfamiliar place, but we were able to spend some time together.

We’ve been mentioning gifts for a few weeks. They told me something they wanted, and talked about buying stuff for their family. I’ve also dropped a few hints, and I assumed we were all on the same page. Yesterday (Christmas Eve), they mentioned having to stop by their apartment to pick up some presents to bring to my place, and I figured something would be for me.

As it turns out, I was wrong. They put a handful of boxes under my tree last night, and this morning I watched them open them alone, as it turns out they were all things their family had mailed them. I got nothing. My partner explained this by saying they’re “bad at gift giving” and “didn’t want to buy me something just because they felt like they had to.” I was kinda in shock (still am) and said it was fine in the moment, but now I’m sitting here and not sure what to do. I got them the thing they said they wanted, as well as a pair of discontinued shoes I had to spend a long time looking for in their size. They let me “open” a box of day old pastries we picked up yesterday so I could feel included.

This is weird, right? I’m not huge on the whole “I got you a gift so you must get me one” thing, but I came across the country and missed all my own family celebrations for them, just to be told they didn’t want to bother finding anything for me? I’m an incredibly easy person to shop for, and honestly would have been happy if they found a rock or something and said it made them think of me. Just, anything.

Now that it’s been a few hours they’re telling me they feel bad I didn’t have anything, but they haven’t actually said the word sorry. And, every time they say they feel bad it turns into me comforting them about it? I’m upset with them, but I’m not really sure how to approach this situation. How do I comfort someone and then turn around and tell them I’m upset? They did say they’re sorry I missed my family celebration, but then followed it by reminding me that I chose to come here, while they were forced.

I don’t want to break up with someone over a Christmas present, but this whole thing is making me rethink a lot of things about our relationship and how much effort we’re each putting in. I moved across the country for them, and getting me anything is too much work, apparently. Part of me wants to try to make it work, but I’m also thinking about how we’re about to be long distance again and I’m not sure if it’s worth it. I don’t want to break up with them when I don’t know anyone else in the area, but I’m also not sure how to get through the rest of my time in this city with them.

TLDR Partner didn’t get me a gift and didn’t tell me until the last minute. I’ve spent the day making them feel better about it, but I can’t decide how big of a deal this is to me.