Not going to go in details, but last week was extremely busy for both of us, so we couldn’t really spend much time together. The schedule had to be back to normal after new years eve.
She spent Christmas with her family, I, with mine, since we agreed on this. However my mood was muddied with the fact that my grandfathers brother is dying, so it’s a matter of days. I spoke to her about this, she knows.
So yesterday, she texts me in the morning that she wants sex, yet I was busy and couldn’t decide if I’ll go visit my parents or not yet. She started to get upset and say things like “I’m being hurt by you…”. I told her, that I cannot be at two places at once. After a while she sends another text saying “**A woman says when sex will happen and man is in no position to decide**”. I was like… what ? And replied to her that I simply cannot dump everything I’m doing and just run to her, because she wants morning sex. She gets extremely furious and says that she’s wasting her time on me, it was all a mistake. I tell her to calm down, and let’s go for a walk in a few hours. She replies “get the hell away from me”.
So today I try to see if she calmed down and all she says is “we’re done”.
Funny part is that we actually had to spend the day together after lunch. But hey, since I said “no” when SHE wanted it in the morning, I guess I’m the bad guy.
**tl;dr** said no to sex, because was busy, got dumped. We were dating for 6 months.
**Update:** After thinking about it a while, I realized that she was very manipulative. Everything should be done her way. She picks the movies, activities etc. If I disagreed on something she would usually act all hurt. “I feel like I’m being abused…” But she always used this line “you don’t have to if you don’t want to”. After reading some articles she really fits the abusive type, sad stuff.
**Update nr2:** She texted me apologizing that the end was so abrupt, she won’t go into detail, but said that I’m a good person and she wishes me the best. Her explanation “*why get closer together if we have no further future.*” What the actual f is that logic.
27 comments
Good riddance in my eyes tbh
Be glad she showed her true colours this early on. Thats shitty behaviour no matter the gender. She did you a favour.
Wtf… Good you found out about her true colours so you don’t waste more time with her.
What a toxic mindset… All partners involved have to be in the mood for sex, and all partners involved can say no to sex. Consent is vital.
That’s just basic human decency.
A man has every right to say NO TO SEX. If she gets mad and breaks up with you it only shows her immaturity. I’ve dealt with similar situation in the past where my ex got upset with because I turned her down. She couldn’t understand the fact that I was busy working yet when she wants me to understand she can say No when she’s busy. Needless to say that relationship didn’t work out. I your case you should be glad that you saw her true colours this quick. Imo it’s better that she’s not in your life. Move on and get in relationship with a girl who’s understanding of your situation.
At least you saved yourself time
That is one person sized bullet you dodged there OP.
Word of advice, take some time out for yourself before you go jumping back into the dating pool and block your ex everywhere and on everything.
Sounds like you have saved yourself a lot of heartache further down the line tbh.
You know, I read another post like this that was almost from the opposite perspective. Sometimes I feel like these things are done in tandem both people to see how people respond. If women can say no to sex, soak in men. I think couples should make sex a really big part of their lives, or their relationship will end. Especially when you’re young nobody wants to have a sexless life when there’s a world full of sex out there. So I guess you have some decisions to make but I will tell the same thing to a woman that she needs to work out your sex life with her boyfriend or their life will come to an end together and nobody wants to go through it for a long period of time when you’re dating.
Ghost this person. The audacity to say that is awful follow her statement to a logical conclusion is all kinds of bad if you said it to her! Be glad the trash took itself out she is not your problem any longer. Try to be a little more discerning for the next candidate!
I would be petty and take a screenshot. Post it on sm. Tag her.
After that “A woman says when sex will happen…” bullshit I would have just dumped her… She is mad dude…
What kind of advice are you looking for?
And if she decides she wants you back a few hours later, are you going to accept? Or are you going to be smart, block her ass and never talk to her again no matter how much she might apologize? Keep in mind that if you let her get away with this shit, she will just do more and more of the same as time goes by, because you would have proved to her that she can spin you on her little finger.
Sometimes, I am embarrassed at how horrible some of my fellow women are.
She can be some other losers problem man. She sounds aweful
Sexual incompatibility like very different drives may be a reason to not stay together, but both parties have agency and autonomy in a couple. Your no is as valid as hers. She does not respect you.
Your ex sounds toxic, controlling and unkind. I feel you should consider her dumping you a lovely Xmas present.
Bullet dodged.
Your gf is a bully. She has no right to demand sex from you.
Tell her to buy a dildo.
She is a flaming idiot. Did you a huge favor.
So the trash took itself out.
She’s ridiculous and it’s good you are free of her.
So she’s a narcissist. Good job dodging that bullet then. You’ll be happier.
WTF?? She isn’t partner material!!
Sounds like you dodged a bullet
It’s so nice when the trash takes itself out
You dodged a bullet, hombre. Be grateful.
Did you feel the wind off that bullet you dodged?
Oh. Man. She sounds awful. Like she’s the best gift you’ll ever get. Truly a self-centered being you’ll be much better off without. She did your quality of life a major favor by going bye-bye.