I (28M) haven’t been in the dating scene for quite a while. I’ve always had issues socializing, and I’ve improved on it a lot over the years, however I still can’t really just go out and approach women I’m interested in randomly and hold a conversation with them. The biggest issue with this for me is, past just approaching them, I’m not sure how to initiate and hold a conversation because I’m just not sure what to talk about and end up blanking out unless we’re at a themed event like a convention.
Does anyone have advice on how I should go about improving my social skills so I have an easier time approaching and holding conversations with women?
1 comment
Hey! 27F introvert (with aspirations of becoming more extraverted) here.
I’ve found that the best advice I’ve ever received on working on my social skills, especially in the dating world, is to simply become more comfortable with being uncomfortable. Socializing is hard for everyone, whether you’re trying to make new friends, spark a connection with a stranger, or just hold a conversation with another person. It’s tough, especially if you, like me, are not super socially inclined.
I’ve gotten into the habit of practising pushing myself out of my comfort zones by attending concerts and shows alone and becoming fully comfortable with my own solitude. It helps to do things you enjoy on your own to build confidence, even if you feel a bit out of place at first! Social skills are kind of like a muscle that needs to be strengthened over time. But eventually you’ll become more comfortable being yourself with other people.
Note that this is not a magic trick: sometimes you’ll be rejected by people who aren’t interested in talking, or who are busy, or whatever it may be. Instead of allowing yourself to be personally hurt or insulted, or to take it to heart and assume that it’s because there’s something wrong with you, accept it graciously. You’re not always going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay! Again, socializing is like strengthening a muscle. The more you do it, the better and more natural you become at it.
Hope this helps, best of luck!