So recently I reconnected with a childhood crush I had for years on my dad’s best friend’s son. We grew up for a long time going over each other’s houses and spending a lot of time together and even through our adolescent years we always had this on going crush and feelings towards each other. Not too long ago, we began texting and snapping each other being very flirtatious and vocal about wanting to finish what we started as teens- had a lot of moments where we were close to kissing but little sisters always ruined it. I live on the east coast and he moved to Vegas awhile ago. Recently he came back home for Christmas and we’d talked for a while about how we needed to see each other and spend time together again since it’d been a while. Originally I wanted it to be more of a planned thing where he’d be coming over and I would have cooked something for us and we watch movies, play games, listen to music, have some drinks but it turned into a spur of the moment him coming over and us talking and drinking, dancing in my living room and ended up hooking up- even spent the night. I know I’m rambling now but to get to the grain I really enjoyed my time with him and even though I’m fighting it I can feel myself developing a crush all over again for him. Im worried I’m just letting post sex emotions get to me and not really sure how I should go about trying to get to know him more now without doing too much or projecting any fears or insecurities I might have. Not to mention how difficult or maybe pointless it might be to try and reconnect with someone who’s on the other side of the country. We’ve talked in the past and even since seeing each other about me coming to visit him in the future. Should I pursue or should I just let things be whatever they are and might become?
1 comment
I disagree with your statement that you are worried about doing too much or projecting any insecurities or fears you may have. This is a normal, healthy and even necessary part of the process of getting to know someone better. It’s also a part of your right to go after what you want in life. You may be afraid to just act on your feelings because it might lead to heartbreak but that is never a valid reason for not acting on your feelings, especially when you’re young and new at this sort of thing.
My advice to you is this. If a relationship isn’t meant to be, it won’t work no matter what you do or try. (This is different than if a relationship is destined to be but you never act on those feelings.) If you feel strongly about pursuing your feelings for the guy then go ahead and make plans for yourself to see him in person again, or at least talk on the phone and make a plan together. Sometimes planning something ahead of time can increase both people’s commitment to making that opportunity happen; but also sometimes it helps both people feel like they have a specific reason for wanting to see each other in person again.
One thing I would recommend is putting off telling this guy about your feelings for him until you know that the two of you are sincere about making it work because that can make a big difference in how he sees the situation. When you first get together, it’s easy for people to have a lot of flirty fun and not feel too much pressure to have anything serious happen; but in person things can be different. It’s up to you, but I think if you feel strongly about pursuing this guy and being with him then it’s worth waiting to see how he feels before telling him how you feel.