Multiple times now I’ve known I needed to defend myself against something someone’s said that was disrespectful, or at least make a comment so they can elaborate. The few times I’ve said something my blood has been pumping, I’m sweating, and terrified. I’m much more susceptible to just dropping it and letting them think what they said was okay at that point. I’ll usually have a response locked and loaded immediately after they’ve said it but I question myself non stop and end up saying nothing. I know this is a symptom of having zero self esteem but I need a quick fix for this one problem first. The disrespect always sends me on a downward spiral when I dont defend myself. I have to be around a few people who often disrespect me (school, family) so I can’t cease seeing them unfortunately.
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Stop giving a Fuck. Just give them the ‘Are you stupid?’ look for a moment. Think about if they are really stupid and why? Than make the best choice from there: Ask them to explain it. Say “No” and walk away. Better yet just wave them away. Ask them “Why should I, what’s in it for me?”. Straight tell them ‘It’s a stupid plan because of AB&C. Here are your choices not happening, you need to go back to the drafting table, or we do it my way.” Don’t scream don’t curse cause that shows you you give way to many fucks.
Sounds like you are some one who is easily control though your emotions. Control your emotions to control the situation. Suppress them first that express them with logic and body/facial expressions. Trust me they work a lot better than cursing and screaming. Even when they don’t speak the same language.
Next thing to watch out for is the repeat cycle. Break it by going the same thing been said three times you to dense to understand me? Maybe in the moment maybe months from now. Firmly and calm a a monk don’t budge unless they budge. Than be open to compromise but hold them to their compromise.